Whose Feelings Are We Feeling When We Are Feeling What We Are Feeling?
Oh! How our feelings so easily betray us. For no sooner than we establish an idea about our ‘feelings’, then the mountain slide of doubt, confusion and resistance begins. Making it necessary to reestablish the excitement attached to the sublime feelings in the first place; Unwarranted thoughts create the need to continually feed the bull dog his bone of the continual absorbing elevated important sense of worth (desire).
We so value the state of our feelings, we will subject ourselves to countless scenarios in order to evoke certain feelings. We especially like the pleasurable ones but when not available we will feast on whatever shows itself for consumption.
We are so effortlessly influenced by our feelings. We wholeheartedly believe them to be substantial, dependable and accurate. We go so far as to assign certain ‘attrition of benevolence’ to them, so when they begin to wane (and, wane they shall), we boost them with a shot of either guilt, remorse, regret, responsibility, duty and/or the most impressively famous of all, “idolized adoration’. In other words, we like being impressed much more than impressing. It’s so addictive! We want to feel we are involved with the most attractive mates that could ever be found on the planet. (Why else would we invent such outlandish sexual tales wrapped in confrontational intrigue of jealousy, envy and competition?)
Confusing as our feelings may be, the truth is: they fattened enormously over the years due to uninvited, intrusive, mal-aligned invasions of others in our lives that inadvertently showered us with their ingrained notions, beliefs, and emotional biases. Our present emotional states have been fed inconceivable meals, (which we swallowed up without reservation or resistance), prepared from the banquets of others, whose unrealized dreams unconsciously attached themselves to subjugate our feelings, for years without our even realizing what was happening.
This unconscious act of emotional infiltration was in no way intentional or purposeful but nevertheless occurred and as a result we sometimes feel things we have no idea how or why we do. Because those people who projected the early voices were unable to process and depend upon their own capriciously disloyal feelings, too, they released the inordinate pressure experienced by shifting them unto us vicariously. No blame need be dispersed, here; simply cold, hard facts.
Human beings do not know how to deal with feelings so they are sublimated, denied, exaggerated, diminished and repressed. For certain, they are undoubtedly misunderstood and misapplied.
IF it were not so, we would not spend wasted effort, energy and inclination saying one thing and doing another. Feelings we were subjected to, very early in our lives, cause us to take sides in controversies which never before would have concerned us enough to engage our interest, IF it had not been we were conditioned to automatically respond in a certain way in certain circumstances.
The strange phenomenon associated: we believe (so identified with) our strong feelings, at times, enough to disengage ourselves from the people who differ with us, doubt, argue, contend or challenge our illogical reasoning. IF we allow the unruly obsession to take hold, irreparable damage can and does occur. Many a marriage, partnership, friendship, as well as, other social involvements have been shattered on much less.
The vast array of feelings (emotions) is indeed what contributes to our being human. In many ways, they constitute our unique personalities. We could not possibly exist without their inexplicable influence. No doubt, we would demystify life by creating difficult and/or numbed consequences as a result IF we did not have the emotional experiences we go through. Just because emotions, opinions and sentiments are illogical at their best, do not make them unnecessary or undeserved.
The determining factor whether our emotions are, anywhere close to reasonable, or completely fanatically unreasonable depends upon the situation, the encounter, the relationship. In other words, the feelings need something either to conform to or not conform to— an ideal projection or adverse thought (belief). Strange how that works:all the time comparing and contriving.
Feelings are sublime laws unto themselves, not beholding nor directory. Yes, they are that powerful and subservient to the esoteric proprietor of them. They become like a sacred alter upon which the sanctified initiate bares his soul daily. Nothing short of our fickle emotions can teach us as much. Whether they carry us to the heights of unimaginable ecstasy or the perilous catacombs of hell, we learn invaluable lessons that cannot be taught otherwise.
Emotions can never be argued satisfactorily in reason. Emotions are devoid of reason. They show no resemblance to it nor are they interested, inclined or intrigued by its commonsense appeal. They stand upon their own unapologetic refrain. Let us put this matter in the short rows of perception: against the human animal’s emotional instincts, the intellect is not only powerless but superfluous.
On that note alone, we will sing the song of how unpredictable emotions (feelings) betray and beguile. When it comes to the affairs of the heart, we will be cast into the ‘hungry den of the lions’ with Daniel if and when we try to subdue, explain, gauge, control or modify. We possess unfathomable appetites when/where/how sensual emotions come into play. Add our own internal barometer of feelings with those from the past and we have a highly volatile mix.
From the incalculable pleasure associated with soothing, placating, relaxing (at the same time revitalizing) bodily sensations of ingesting delicious food, to the thrill of experiencing an incalculable erotic orgasmic sexual experience, we are able to realize the episodes through the awareness of feelings. But, never are we afforded the presence of mind to be able rationalize our innate feelings. Nor are we in a position to explain, defend or excuse why we feel the way we do.
In no way can we logically defend when, how, what and why we are attracted to the people we invite into our lives. We have no way of interpreting our feelings without the aid of more emotional filtering and processing. But to confuse thoughts with feelings will only bring about a huge battle of irresolvable chaotic dismembering. Simply realize feelings are not loyal, committed or dedicated to any premise by way of morality or dependability. They are raw, rambunctious and revolutionary in nature. Unpredictably ruthless.