World Wide Weiner: Funniest Congressman Anthony Weiner Puns

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Weiner Blows it but refuses to Withdraw!

With a baby on the way and bills to pay perhaps congressman Cocktail can’t quit his job for the same reason most of us cannot quit ours–he can’t afford to.    The fact that he is not doing his job well, effectively or competently has little to do with it.  Besides, Weiner has a government job.  There is a reason for the phrase:  close enough for government work.  Moreover, at least one congressman has admitted that those clowns on capital hill never read the bills they vote on anyway.  So Anthony Weiner, that hot dog of a liberal, progressive, democrat congressman has a cushy job with great prestige, great perks, a considerable amount of power and enough free time on his hands to text coeds.    He can’t possibly be expected to quit that gig.


Pressure Grows on Weiner

Many more democrats have called for the resignation of that hot dog of a progressive, liberal congressman,  Anthony Weiner.  Although the law maker has asked for a leave of absence from congress so he can generate better excuses for his wildly immature behavior, the truth still has not penetrated Weiner.   He is a laughing-stock and a detriment.  Assuming he manages to stay out of prison, his best option might be to quit congress, write a book on how hard it is to be the most famous pervert in the world and go on the talk show circuit.


Weiner’s Constituents Polled: Stay In, They Say

New Yorkers are a strange breed.  Imagine telling your son he should be just like the biggest Weiner in congress or telling your daughter that a guy who would text girls half  his age when his wife is  pregnant  is quite a catch.  But that hot dog of a congressman is considered a pillar moral wisdom and virtue amongst New York democrats.   They took one look at the fact that Weiner had been in direct contact with minors and rushed to pollsters saying that they would vote Weiner back in office a heart beat.


Exposed Weiner Refuses to Resign. Congressman Cocktail to Stay in House.

Congressman Weiner should not Resign. Nobody expects Democrats to be Honest Anyway.

Now when Republicans commit moral outrages against their wives and public decency they darn well better resign.  After all, Republicans claim to be the party of family values and God.  Right wingers have to be held to account for their misdeeds.  This means you Newtie!!!

But whoever heard of a moral and decent democrat?  Unless it becomes moral to adhere that old credo:  From each according to his means.  To each according to his needs.   One day, that old credo replaces public morality just as the press wants it to, if their own credo is anything to judge the matter by:   Afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted.   Only in the event that those old liberal nostrums become our public morality, will there ever be  an honest or moral democrat.

Remember the democrats were the party of President Bubba Clinton.  So the first question of any committed Democrat must be:  Is it wearing a skirt?  Some of you poor naive souls said to yourselves:  but what about the women?  We are talking DEMOCRATS remember?


When is the last time a Democrat insisted that an illegal immigrant be honest on a job application?  I rest my case.


Addicted to Weiner

The surprising thing about the predicament of that hotdog of a congressman, Anthony Weiner, is not that it happened, but rather that something like it does not happen more often.

All politicians but especially democrats are completely convinced that they are going to Washington DC to force all other Americans to live and act the way that politician wants.  If you think about politicians mandating things like low flow toilets then you have the observation that congress is populated by people who are absolutely convinced that you can’t even go to the bathroom without their assistance.   This engenders in the average congressman  or senator a superiority complex.  Since they know so much better than you how you should spend your money and live your life they must be infinitely superior to you.  Even their average salary is well above that of the average American.  They have a retinue of followers that see to their every whim and a coterie of lobbyists who are constantly trying to give them, or their friends or their relatives cash and goodies under the table.

What happens to any human being who is told often by people who want favors  that his feces are not odoriferous?  Absolute  power corrupts absolutely.  Your congressman or senator begin to behave like rock stars or pampered athletes.  They begin to believe that because they write the laws that they are the law.

What makes matters even worse is that this Insane Klown Posse is rewarded for their mistakes.  Think of it.  Congress, the senate and the president have bankrupted the country and they can’t run the senate restaurant, Amtrak, Freddie Mac, or Fannie Mae or anything else without losing money.  They are “punished” for these dismal failures not by being fired but by being re-elected.  The realization that they can say and do many stupid and irrational things and still keep their jobs makes these clowns arrogant about their ignorance and incompetence.  Some congressmen have even admitted they don’t read the legislation they vote in favor of.

Enter into this arena a man so emotionally stunted that he thinks women want to see his junk.    Not even prostitutes and porn stars want that.   They do want to see the money and will say just about anything you want to get at the green.

Certainly no coed in America wants to see a 48-year-old man with no clothes on.  She might be attracted to money or power or even charisma but if she is even remotely attracted to the male anatomy, she is surrounded by perfect male specimens on her campus.

And now for something completely different.

Weiner for President!  For once we can have frankness in the oval office!!!


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