I hate my job. On the surface, it is easy, but it is monotonous. Run through a script, resolve the issue, up-sell repeat one hundred times and go home. At the beginning of the day, I am hitting all of those quality points and I can get a perfect score. By the time I am ready to go home, I am barely hitting half of the requirements for that job.
Lately though the days have been slow and there is plenty of time to reflect in between calls. My life could have been entirely different. But with each step I got in my own head and my own emotions got in the way and sabotaged what could have been a good thing. People tell you that God is the answer, but it isn’t any different. It still plays out the same way. You still get tired and you still get beat down, and you know in your mind that you can do it just one more time but you do not feel like it and you have to suffer the consequences.
We are not machines. We were designed to make complex decisions and to be creative and passionate and love what we do. But in life there are thresholds that need to be crossed. Monotony is part of the game, and we have to persevere. But we can make choices; there are decisions that need to be made, again, minute decisions. The struggle in life is not to live. Living is easy all one needs to do is breathe. The ultimate struggle in live, is to get beyond your own autonomy and come to that place where you are free to face those challenges head on, and put monotony behind you. When you are free of that machine you can focus on bigger things, better things, and move ahead.
Financial concerns and restraints keep the majority of us of ever coming into that realization. So we go to these jobs where we think enough to keep ourselves from going completely brain dead. Anyone can sit in a car with the engine running, so you can listen to the radio or run the heat or the air conditioning without running down the battery. But you will eventually run out of gas, and you aren’t going anywhere. A lot of us are in positions in life where we are not going anywhere, but we are burning fuel. We go to a job and we kill ourselves and we get enough money to stay in the same place we found ourselves last payday. We did not move back, but we did not move forward either. Sometimes in life it is enough to keep your head above water, just so that you do not end up drowning in mediocrity.
You can see the struggle at work. The media is pushing all of these ideas at us, and we soak them all up because we do not want to die. Technology, spirituality, intellectualism, self-aggrandizement, narcissism, materialism, hedonism. We just want to survive. Love, empathy, compassion, they are all off of the table. These are concepts that hurt us when they do not work out. We need something that is reliable that can help us deal with the evil in this world. We need something tangible.
It is easier to watch two people in a passionate, lustful exchange, because for many of us that is real. No one wants to deal with happened before the exchange, no one believes that they will be around after the exchange. It could just be that one time, but it is real to us. She got hers, he got his, and they both moved on. It is often the evidence of something deeper between them, but where is the fun in that? Lust is something that we can see, something that we can feel something that can keep us going until the next day, in our infantile minds. Love is an abstract concept that doesn’t work out and leaves us wanting more.
It is easier to see someone draped in fine linens, expensive cotton, rich, luxurious silk fabrics in a nice house or an apartment in the city in a fine neighborhood, a nice car, no cares in the world. The reality is that those clothes are hard to keep up with and need to be dry cleaned, or you might only wear them one time. That car does not have any miles on it, and that apartment is not lived in. But the illusion seems real because it is something that you can touch, something that you can inspire to.
People who make money in America do so by capitalizing on someone’s dreams and aspirations. Steve Jobs, Ralph Lauren and Oprah Winfrey are all the same marketers of an ideal of a rich lifestyle achieved through ideas, concepts, and expensive toys. So we spend our days doing something we hate, so that we can purchase one thing and make life worthwhile. That thing could last a hundred years, but we need another thing because the last thing went out of style, or it is old technology or the world changed and those ideas do not work anymore. So this it the new thing, the old thing is irrelevant.
Everyone wants to feel emotions, experience the pleasures of this world and live a glamorous life. But everyone, most people, are stuck in the monotony of life. It is not the idea that the jobs are a dead end that is the problem. It is the fact that you spend so much of your energy on staying in one place that you cannot move forward. If your legs and arms are sore because you tread water, you are just being pushed by the current when you need to move against the current. The current is pushing you away from your dreams! It is moving you away from your destination. So you need an engine to go against it in order to get out of that body of water onto dry land, because if you get pushed to the other side you have to go the long away around the body of water, and that could take an entire lifetime!
Most of us have poor performing engines! We can go a little bit, but the body of water simply gets bigger and bigger, and we never get to where we are trying to go. That is where I find myself at these days. Is it all in my mind? Of course it is. But does that make it any easier. No, it does not. I want to be a computer, I want to be a machine. I want that trans-humanistic mindset that allows me to put my emotions aside, my spirit aside, and can take me where I need to go. It is wrong, it is demoralizing and dehumanizing, but how will I ever get to where I am trying to go? If the limitations of my emotions keep getting in the way of my destiny, if the most simple pleasures a human being can experience are the vice that keeps me damned what good am I?
That is the future that we are headed towards. One that is so difficult, so challenging, so exhausting, that people will surrender themselves to these ideas in order to get some peace and to get some rest. Why “find” anything when we can all be tagged and you can find us all on a computer somewhere. Today we are glued to the computer metaphorically, tomorrow we will be plugged into the matrix literally. Life is difficult for a reason. You can either go with the tide and accept whatever fate comes your way or you can take life into your own hands. If you accept your fate, you become just another number, another percentile, another statistic, and you become part of the industrial complex. If you take it into your own hands you become a threat. The choice is yours …