How to contain your anger
It is difficult to come across a person, whatever the age, who doesn’t get angry some time or the other. “Becoming angry” is a natural thing. You may call it a disease as well and it attacks every human being without exception from birth to death.
If a person claims that he/she is free from this habit, either he is a liar or a saint extraordinary. Even saints get angry but they would exhibit it in a very subdued way and not explode like most of us would do.
Let’s begin from the beginning. Consider your own baby child or grand child. Even when the little doll is a few weeks old, it will show its resentment or annoyance openly if the mother doesn’t feed it on time or delays the feeding. Here the irritability will be manifested through ‘howling’.
As the boy grows up, he will resort to some novel ways of displaying his anger. Some boys will weep and grumble. A few bold type will start cursing something or somebody. “Giving threats of sorts like running away from home or refusing to do the home work,” will be the strategy of the high IQ varieties. These are all the verbal reactions. A small number will show it in action – he will go and pinch his baby sister until it starts crying or throw with great force whatever he holds in his hand at that time. Some will bang the head on the wall. You can recall how your own children behaved in their early days. I hope that you still remember all their antics.
As adults too they would make their displeasure known in strange ways. The usual backlash is, shout at somebody or shout at no one in particular. You would have witnessed such scenes in your office or work place with regard to your boss or your seniors. Banging a file or throwing a pencil or paper weight, is another kind of reflex.
Women bosses won’t be that vociferous. Their face will go crimson red and eyes will bulge out. Some, in addition may grind their teeth and clench their fist. But they will show no physical rejoinder of any type.
Now, we come to the anger-syndrome of a father cum husband. His effervescence will be in the form of twisting the son’s ears or some hard nut fathers may even slap the boy left right and centre short of hurting him badly. Yet, a father’s action would indeed be a highly controlled one unlike some cruel and hard hearted Indian school teachers. While dealing with a daughter, the same father would be very much a softened man though bubbling with fury. He is unlikely to thrash physically if the daughter is a college going type. He will dissipate his ire by smashing some part of his own body or even tear off his shirt. The greatest manifestation would be, he would immediately announce stopping of all her freedom such as gossip sessions with her friends or going out to movies and picnics and so on.
As husband, some fellows will go and pull the wife’s hair and also slap her nicely. Hoever,very few stalwarts would resort to this physical kind. Most of the time, it would be a kind of rebuke. In which case, the wife would immediately summon her tears and cry mildly. Is it a real cry or a cry to invite hubby’s sympathy is difficult to say. But any loving husband , at the sight of tears, will rush to her and hug her saying ‘sorry’ ‘sorry’ repeatedly.
How would the grand fathers and grandmothers behave when inflamed? I must say they seldom will show their bitterness to anyone outwardly. Sometime you wouldn’t even make out if they are reacting somewhat to the situation. If they happen to get wild, they would simply shake their head in despair and doze off. Do you remember what you did last time when you got annoyed yourself? This is exactly what you would do every time because you are physically too weak to respond in any other way
Shall we now go to the containing part? Remember, getting angry is not at all a bad characteristic. It’s natural. But “storing up your anger” is bad. Metaphorically speaking, it is called, “bottling up your passion.” If you do that, one day it will burst out like a 500 ton bomb and destroy a few houses. Don’t do it. You must indeed let off steam when you get terribly upset. There are several methods of snuffing out the fire.
Throwing this thing or that thing or thrashing somebody or hitting your head against a stone is the act of mad persons. They are the types who have no control over their emotions or no control over their faculties. What should the gentlemen do?
(a)Switch on a TV channel (b) or the music system loudly or (c) go into a room and do some rigorous exercise (d) and most importantly, pray to your God. God will guide and help you overcome your anger and be at peace with every one. And please concentrate on the episode or programme or the wordings of the songs or the intricacies of the various exercises. This is important. Some people will activate the TV but still keep recollecting the incident in all their details in their mind. Wrong. You need to forget whatever had happened. This is possible only when you divert your mind and thoughts on something totally different and far removed.
You should never go for a walk nor attempt to solve someone’s
problem nor talk to anyone until your exasperation has been completely spent out.
Summarising, becoming angry at something is natural and it calls for containing it immediately by distractive actions and not by violent eruptions.