The Guaranteed Way To Fully Dissuade A Home Buyer

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Entering the property market with your residence is a pretty big deal. Literally. Almost incessantly, sellers and their Realtors® manage to make awkward mistakes that often turn out quite expensive. Few of us can really take a chance at losing money on a home sale, and everyone wants to make the best possible deal on their house.

And thus, we are sharing with you a bunch of the most common ones, and explain how well-meant ideas sometimes backfire. So now for how NOT to market your house.

Pets, Plants, and Other Quirks
As soon as you decide to come out with the sale, borrow a dog, two weasels and twelve pigeons. Let them play in the house and even leave them inside alone for a day or two. This will ensure that every buyer at the showings will truly grasp to what extent you love having nature at home and that the place can easily take more.

Then, as soon as you have re-captured your wonderful pet zoo and secured each animal in its shiny cage, it is advisable to manage a poker party. Put “Only for Smokers” on your invitation, and don’t forget to invite the perfume seller from across the road as the “guest of the night”. Give out cheap cigarillos and cigarettes for those who forgot to bring their own and direct the guests to smoke in enclosed, unventilated rooms.

In order to boost the overall impression more still, select flowers that are at the peak of their blooming season. Then, set them up all around the house in every room. Let your kids shake the pollen off onto the furniture like that. A little bit of each pollen type should be snowed around the main door.

Within the 20 hours preceding a showing, refuse to feed your 40kg dog bearing the name of Fizzy and tie him to the fence in the front yard. Even if you don’t smoke, burn a cigarette in the bathroom at least quarter an hour before the showing and ditch the burning tobacco in an ashtray in the bedroom. Abstain from taking out the garbage under any circumstances if you are anticipating buyers. Your visitors will hope for a genuinely homey account of living at your house.

So What?
If you try to follow a bare minimum of 41% of the above advice, we guarantee that your efforts to attract reasonable house shoppers will be completely fruitless. On the other hand, using common sense and following the basic rules can help you to get maximum out of your deal.

Selling techniques tested in Parkdale, Toronto. No homebuyers or homesellers were harmed. No irony.

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