Okay so the other day I am headed to the Chinese restaurant and I pass the ABC store. I hate that term. It is like drunks are just stupid and you have to put them through remedial training or something. Like they are on the short bus. It is actually an acronym, but I think that it is an inside joke on alcholics, but anyway enough of that you want to hear the story right?
So a mother is walking into the store with some furry slippers on and a dress and has a young child with her going into the store. Must have been about 4 or 5, and the mother was a bit older could have been in her thirties, but she wasn’t a young teenage mom or anything. I actually did not think anything of it at first, but she looked at me, and I looked at her, and was polite I said hi and kept it moving but I was left with the impression that she was like daring me to say something about the situation. What was I going to say?
It isn’t about passing judgement. It is not about me saying that you are a bad mother, because it could have been anything she might have been getting it for someone else she may not have had a babysitter it could have been a million different things. But it is just the message that it sends out that is disturbing. In the last few days, I hear about a mother trying to sell her daughter’s virginity for $10,000 (the daughter is 13), I see a Twit Pic with a young mother holding her dead baby after the funeral in a group pic (like she was a baby doll or something the babies eyes were closed), I saw a mother giving her young kid a swig of something potent, the list goes on.
You see and hear a lot of things, and everyone wants to talk about how bad some mothers are. But a lot of the reason that this occurs is because there aren’t any men in the home. Sometimes there are and the men are just as bad, and that is an entirely different situation but it makes you wonder if there is a right or wrong way to approach young people about the choices they make. Young people are still kids themselves, even well into their twenties. So if the mother is wearing designer clothing, and the children have sand in their hair, a snotty nose and dirty shoes you might shake your head, but then you also have to consider that no one ever grows up in this society anymore.
We live in a selfish society where people are so consumed with themselves, they do not see anything wrong with giving other people far less than their best. But then again you could be arriving at the wrong conclusion; perhaps that mother can only afford to make herself look good maybe she doesn’t have any money left over to make the kid look good. I guess that is still wrong on some level, because it goes back to being prepared for whatever life throws at you. It does take a lot of money to raise a kid, and it is easy to pass judgement. At the same time a lot of people are not prepared to have children because their own life is out of order.
Let’s say that the woman was getting herself something to drink. A $20 bottle of something nice is enough to do the job but not enough to be glamorous; certainly not a drink to write home about. But it gets the job done. If you are stressed out and sick of paying $100 for pampers here, a few hundred for clothes there, having to send your kid with cash money in their pockets in case there is a field trip or to eat lunch you might feel vindicated. You may feel as though a $20 bottle of a nice, hard, strong liquor is what you need to cope with the strees; and after all you deserved it. I think this is what goes through the minds of the girl who has her nails done, clean shoes and expensive clothes; “after all I am your mother”.
So what is wrong with the picture; everything, but who the picture is wrong to is the real matter at hand. If it wrong to you but perfectly okay with them, then nothing is accomplished. The real issue is whether or not something needs to happen, or whether we are all just offended and should get over ourselves. Are we really that concerned about the children, or are we ashamed of the parents?