Can you tell if someone is flirting with you or simply being friendly? Can you tell if someone is really interested in you, or if someone is only playing without a slightest intention of taking it any further? How should you react when you suspect someone is flirting?
By definition to flirt means to behave in a playful manner, to act amorously without emotional commitment. When we flirt we let the other person know we are romantically interested, whether or not this may be the case. You also have to be very careful to distinguish friendliness and honest compliments from flirtation. If someone asked for your name, told you they liked your briefcase, if someone enjoys occasional small talk with you it doesn’t necessarily mean they are into you and flirting- they are friendly. If somebody told you: you are a cutie, you/your body/your hairstyle/your dress is sexy, you boyfriend is a lucky guy and they would do anything to be in his shoes, etc- they are flirting, but, slow down, it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to “take you home”.
How do you react when someone is flirting? If you think you can just laugh it off and the problem will go away -you are mistaken. If someone you are not romantically interested in flirts with you, you must stop this from going any further. You must let them know you are not interested, if you don’t the situation will snowball out of control and everybody will think it is your fault. If someone you are not interested in flirts with you, don’t think about ruining the “friendship”, think about saving yourself from trouble. Be polite, but tell them firmly: “I wish you didn’t say that”, or “Please, don’t tell me that, I am not comfortable with it.”
If somebody you are interested in flirts with you, you can laugh at it, you can flirt back, or even say nothing. But in this case, when you are interested in the person who flirts with you, you shouldn’t take the game too seriously, enjoy it, but remember, the flirting may not lead anywhere or mean anything serious. People may like you, find you attractive, but it doesn’t mean they are available for anything more.
So why is there discrepancy, why then should you overreact and panic when the person you are not interested in flirts? The truth is we all pretty much agree on what is beautiful and what is desirable in a mate. It is very likely others just like you don’t find that person attractive. It will be hard for that person to find a mate; he/she will cling to any opportunity desperately. Take yourself out of that situation as quickly as you can.