Marriage. That simple word that results in a union that is to stand the test of times. Why do some people do it?
Some do it for love, while others do it for all the wrong reasons. Are you willing to jeopardize your happiness for a pretty dress?
Here are some of the reasons why some people got married and felt that LOVE would happen over time:
- She got pregnant. Granted, the Bible is swooned with no sex before marriage, some of us can’t seem to keep Left and Right closed but is that a reason to get married? Consider the fact that this is the man you spend forever with and is he “father and husband” material? Those who fall in this category attempt to save face to certain degrees because they don’t want others to criticize them. I called it the “society effect.” *Ahem* Once you’re pregnant, we all know you’re not the Virgin Mary, and God forgives sin through your repentance so marrying for baby will not suffice. If a man is not ready to settle down then a child won’t change a thing.
- High School Sweetheart. Excuse me, but there is nothing about high school that was sweet for me, not even the cheating guys I swooned over and dated. As bad as this may sound, I knew at an early age that I would marry late into my twenties because I loved the idea of “dating.” Modern takes on that word seems skewed but “dating” means no attachments and simple arranged “meetings or outings” where we exchange wicked banter, wisdom, advice, jokes, and I shook your hand as I greeted you and gave you a sideways hug and sent you packing. Generations before us called this “courting.” Who took courting off the map? Courting was how you found the guy/girl to “date” and eventually you entered a “relationship” which meant no more “dating” but “exclusivity” and “monogamity” (yes, I just made up a word). Sadly, in this day and age we are so in a rush to “label” and “define” things that we forget to enjoy our encounters for what they truly are. I liked men too much to marry a high school sweetheart. At one point I wanted to marry that jerk but he married the woman he cheated with and spared me the humiliation and I thank him because “dating” helped refine my taste in men.
- He proposed. Really? He did?? Great? Proposals can be denied if the genuine emotion is not there. A lifetime of misery is not worth a glistening carat. A proposal indicates a promise of marriage in the future so make sure you say, “YES!” because he is the best. Don’t settle.
- He has money. WOW. Dead Presidents. Bank account. Stocks, bonds. Awesome, right? Who wouldn’t want a man who has his finances in order but wait, is it his money or is it inherited from grandpa and Dad? If so, he still has much to prove in my book. Sadly, many women see this as a red flag to jump the broom but all the money in the world should not be enough to buy your happiness. Take a look around at the celebrities who are in and out of rehab, displaying outlandish behavior, and running through husbands and wives as if they are competing in matrimonial marathons. Money can’t buy happiness; it can mask and sugarcoat it but it’s one check you can’t cash at the bank once it’s OVER. It becomes an “insufficient marriage.”
- I don’t want to be lonely. Sure everyone else is getting engaged and married, but prayerfully, it is because God has sent them their soul mate and it’s a Ruth and Boaz union. Frankly, not everyone marries their soul-mate and that’s sad but the fear of being lonely is the equivalent to lacking faith that God will send you the person he created just for you. Patience is a virtue and love is worth the wait.
Simply put, marry for love and even if it doesn’t work, who cares. You gave love a chance. A divorce does not have to result in a bitter man or woman or be seen as a “failure.” It’s a time to evaluate you as a person and to embark on a self-improvement plan. We all can stand in line in the SIP department, I think. Too many people are clinging to lifeless relationships and marriages because they are “stuck” and afraid to let go for numerous reasons: being alone, what other people say, think, and believe, etc. But if your marriage is not edifying Christ, your family, yourself, and your spouse then it’s not a marriage anyway, is it? You simply live together in worlds apart. Also, don’t stay married for “the kids” because your kids are not going to sacrifice their happiness or bouts with love when they get older (hence the rebel child).
Don’t compromise your happiness in regards to marriage or any aspect of your life.