The first night you went out with your single friends must have thrilled you, knowing that there won’t be an irate wife waiting for you to come home. Yet at the same time, it probably gave you the jitters, since you hadn’t dated for so long, and the dating rules may have all changed since the last time you took your ex wife on your first date.
So just to avoid some awkward moments, here are a couple of tips that may help a divorced dad get on the dating scene again:
First, ask yourself if you are really ready to begin dating again. You may still have some anger towards your ex, and before you know it, you may start ranting about your frustrations to your date, and that will surely spoil the moment! Make sure that you are ready to welcome other people in your life, perhaps as friends first, with the possibility of creating romance. If you find yourself constantly thinking back about your marriage and missing your ex wife, you need to give yourself more time before you even think about dating again.
Second, your best bet to meet the right date is through friends. Avoid singles’ clubs as most people you will see there are just looking for a night of fun, and very rarely will you find someone who’s looking for a serious relationship. Your true friends know you well, and would have your interests at heart.
Fourth, if you do find someone interesting and one who shows some potential for romance, be straightforward and tell her about your situation. If you have kids, you need to assure them that you are doing this, because you need a new person in your life for some sense of fulfillment, and not really to replace them or their mother. You also need to create opportunities for your children and your date (that is, if it becomes a serious date!), to get to know each other.
Fifth, take it slow, but sure. Remember, a relationship should not be rushed. It should be given some time to grow. If it does develop into romance, try not to make the same mistakes in your past relationship and find ways to make it last.
Dating for divorced dads is a different ball game, as there are other people you care about, who are also involved, You may think your child has no “say” on this, but you’ll be surprised how much your child may resist the idea of you dating again. By assuring your children that they have nothing to worry about you dating, and that going back on the dating scene is essential for you to recover from the divorce, then they will understand your needs better.