Jackson, MS Marriage Counselors Discuss- Opposites Attract
We’ve all heard the expression that ‘opposites attract’. Heck, even Paula Abdul made a song dedicated to such a phenomenon. While opposites can seem to have the biggest challenges ahead of them when they get married, they also have to most opportunities for love and romance. People who embrace romance and actually admit that they enjoy romance are more likely to be successfully married to their opposite. It just goes to show you how powerful romance can be in any marriage!
Every marriage experiences problems and even misunderstandings from small tiffs to shouting matches and the reason for this is often because both spouses are not able to acknowledge, recognize and appreciate their differences or the principle of balancing opposites. Everything is intended to be able to work with and often balance its opposite. Life is full of opposites that complement each other like man and woman, happy and sad, funny and serious, give and take as well as life and death.
Opposites offer insight into the magic of how life is balanced. If you begin to see your spouse as your equivalent on the opposite side of the scale of life, you should find that you have a new appreciation for his or her individuality.
Try seeing everything you experience in your marriage at complementary experiences or behaviors. For instance, instead of using your differences with your spouse as a reason for conflict, try considering them as an important part of the person you love and celebrate them. While the opposite traits may seem to stand out, you undoubtedly have some common traits you share with your spouse. Find strength with your spouse because of your similarities.
Take each day with your spouse and live it to the fullest. At the same time, it is a wonderful idea to make your memories a part of what makes your romance special. If you love reading books, buy some more but make them about something that your spouse is interested in. He or she may never read the book, but you will have and you can share all kinds of thoughts and ideas that you may not have been able to before. At the same time, stop relying on books that tell you how to improve your marriage. You already have all that you need without them. You and your spouse are already there!
Make sure you aren’t holding anything back in your relationship. Each partnership tends to have an individual who would rather bury their feelings than express them and possibly cause conflict or wounded feelings. It is absolutely all right to express how you feel as long as your words are chosen carefully. Never take on an accusative tone and always make sure you emphasize what you are saying is how you feel.
You are married to your best friend. If you don’t treat him or her like they are your best friend already, it’s time to start right now. On the other hand, sometimes it might be fun to act like he or she is a stranger to spice things up. Imagine a chance to get to know one another all over again!
Jim and Teresa are passionate about marriage. The passion started with a desire to improve their own marriage and over the last 26 years has spread to a desire to improve marriages all across the country. They have 4 children.
Jim was born in Little Rock, Arkansas, Teresa in Tupelo, MS.
Jim is a graduate of Delta State University, Teresa received her undergraduate degree at Mississippi University for Women and her Master’s at Reformed Theological Seminary in
Marriage and Family Therapy.
The Adams are sought after speakers and group facilitators and the Co-founders of Family Matters First, Inc. an organization dedicated to forming strategic partnerships with local churches to divorce proof marriages, strengthen families, and model Christ to young people.