Denying feelings is foolish and less than responsible. The use of appropriate methods to deal with uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions allows us to rise above any animal instincts and be free again from manipulation.
A feeling of needing to defend ourselves is normal and it is less than wise. Understanding and forgiveness are our friends in this pursuit.
Understanding helps us to know why the individual did what they did when they did it. It also helps us know that in most circumstances what they did was about an issue within them and not as much related to us as we may have thought. Even if something about us triggered the incident, the deep situation is usually about something that has been building up over time. As we understand their pain, we can reflect on how it might be to live the life that they have and feel like they do. This can really empower us.
Forgiveness is the next step and it is frequently misunderstood. A lot of people have wronged others and asked their forgiveness and been relieved that they have been forgiven. They feel free as if God himself has forgiven them for doing what was wrong.
The reality of forgiveness is that it sets the forgiver free. When the forgiver is holding on to the wrong or injustice, they are holding on to a negative energy that is toxic to their life. Resentment turns to anger and that is even more toxic. While resentment by itself is not a physical threat that you would go to the doctor for, it is an unhealthy condition that over time erodes the quality of your lifestyle and begins to contribute to a decrease in the vibrancy of your health.
A mental shift can make all the difference. You can just do it and get the great result. If you need assistance, all kinds of bodywork and energy work can help you settle down and think clearly. I like energy work like Reiki and Integrated Energy Therapy to help balance the energies. IET is especially effect in this regard. If you are medically well and still struggling with these issues, consider a Reiki or Integrated Energy Therapy session either in person or in a distant healing session.