March 13, 2011
CITY OF THIEVES by David Benioff
Even though I read pages 133-258; my rage against double standards and injustice brought me to the hottest page in Mr. Benioff’s novel, it’s page 122. The character, Kolya like most people had judged individuals from their own personal moral attitudes. It’s wrong! My erythrocytes boiled with my oxygen vaporizing through my skull! Kolya’s vexation was directed towards the girls because they sexually entertained the enemy of war. My mind screamed, “Why Kolya is not mad at antagonist soldiers for enslaving those female victims?” The crimes of abduction-rape-murder made it obvious to me the desperation these ladies experienced emotionally, mentally and physically.
Apparently quotes from Mr. Benioff’s tale: “You…” she said, and for a moment she couldn’t say anything else, her anger was too intense to articulate. “You walk in here and condemn us? The Red Army hero? Where have you been, you and your army? They shot my little brothers, my father, my grandfather, every man in my town, while you and your friends cowered somewhere else… You come here and point your gun at me?” I was glad Lara stood up for herself and the other victims. I felt a certain satisfaction as she informed the men of Zoya bring Kolya back to his humanity.
We humans are so quick to judge. We study the obvious. We forget to search the interiors motives of people actions. We have the God like complex of being perfect yet we are human full of flaws! I know my situation of being homeless makes me more compassionate individual. Since I have been deprived of the basics; I am not quick to judge people. Without food and money; desperation gets my mind thinking, “Could I sell my body for money?” The answer is always no! My body is my temple. I have done enough damage to my frame with junk food and sleeping outside. Still, I am not knocking down the females who do sell their bodies for money. I mean Role vs. Wade, gays and lesbians are my examples to my thoughts, “It is your vagina. I don’t get to tell you what to do with yours; and you don’t get to tell me what to do with mine vagina.”
Although I will be honest and say; we face certain consequences in our daily activities from our choices. Like smokers and drinkers, the affects of cigarettes and alcohol consumption does shape our bodies in a negative manner. Prostitutes may not see the damage visually or feel the wounds emotionally; however, there is damage. The wear and tear these women go through will show regardless how well they are doing financially. Since it’s their body; whom am I to judge. I too, face consequences. Having a fever, having Asthma does not excuses me for being absent from school. Sleeping in class because it is so cold at night; does not give me a pass in my class room. Passing out two Wednesdays ago in my Voice class and having my blood pressure at 240/140; does not give me a free ambulance ride to the emergency room. Even though the paramedics explain to me in great length; I can die. If I don’t have the money; I am not going to get medical care: Plain and simple! I have family members I could possible live with. Yet, I don’t want their stinking money! I don’t want their help. I want to make it on my own! If it cost me my life; I fully accept the penalty.
I am very happy despite my homelessness that I didn’t resort to stealing. I am satisfied that I didn’t harm or kill anyone. Most of all, I am at peace that I tried to live the best way I can without binding to society’s pressure of normalcy