Are both you and your partner stubborn, and do both of you refuse to budge an inch or reach a compromise? If you are trying to salvage a relationship that you feel is close to ending, try a few of these ideas.
1.) Blaming has to stop.
We are more apt to blame our partner when our relationships go sour. He just isn t hearing what I am saying any longer. She always seems so cold to me. Why can t he treat me better and surprise me with something nice for a change? I might be willing to do more for her if she did not nag me so much. If you are constantly putting the blame on your partner for everything that goes wrong in your relationship, it will only make him or her become defensive. Put aside your partner s shortcomings and pay more attention to who he/she is.
2.) Quit being so needy.
Not wanting to be apart from your partner is unhealthy. One of the most common problems that cause a couple to split up is an issue with dependency. You should not need your partner for menial things like shopping; being away from each other is normal and very much needed. You may need to find a hobby, other than your relationship, when you feel the need to cling to your partner all of the time.
3.) Are your lines of communication open?
A healthy relationship needs open avenues of communication. Arguments, sarcasm and snide comments are not communication and you need to learn to communicate with respect. Considering that you would not speak to friends or colleagues in that manner, why would you speak that way to a loved one?
4.) Stop believing falsehoods.
Are you constantly imagining the worst case scenarios concerning what you partner is up to or thinking? These are the little voices in your head that say your partner doesn t love you just because he or she is too busy to shower you with affection. Don t listen to those false voices, as they only give you an untrue version of what s real.
5.) Are you hearing?
Are your partner s interests something that you pay attention to? Do you really listen to what your partner is saying and give him/her equal time to explain his/her side? Sometimes we turn a deaf ear to all except what we view to be right. Talk in a normal tone and really listen to the other side of the story next time there is a conflict. You are not always the only one who is right, and you could be missing something that is important if you would just listen.
The above suggestions may not change anything for some relationships. You will both need some time apart if this is the case, because your relationship has suffered for too long. Use this time as a chance to get a better perspective and figure out what you really want.