Think about the number of times where you encountered a negative feeling about a situation with someone and felt the urge to express how you feel, but was reluctant because you didn’t want to be confrontational or merely unsure your feelings were valid. Now recall how many times you’ve kept your feelings to yourself, instead of addressing the target person, and harbored pint-up emotions toward this individual due to the unaddressed negative experience. Did the issue eventually come out in either an unsuitable time instance (either inappropriate place or inappropriate amount of time ago since it happened) or in an argument that triggered back to the negative experience? Whichever the answer chosen and however many times, both are not ideal because the issue should always be addressed near the timing of when it took place to clear up misunderstandings or inconsiderable words or gestures and be able to move on freely from hurts and disappointments, not weeks, months or years later and this behavior requires a different approach to get better results. Also bear in mind, when addressing the issue in a timely manner, it is imperative to take a few moments to gather your thoughts and calm your nerves so you can approach the conversation in a mild-temper to invite receptivity. The goal is to communicate clearly and calmly to have your feelings about the situation understood without creating a hostile argument. When the issue is addressed in either of these negative scenarios, the target person could feel it was treated unfairly and not given a chance to state their intentions or shocked because it came out of nowhere and feels distance since the matter was kept from them. It is unfair to withhold someone from information and yet still be held accountable, and don’t assume “they should know” because most times they are unaware. The human race thrives on communication and it needs to be clear communication to take it a step further. It is not fair to make people read our minds and play the guessing game with our actions and emotions. By saying what’s on your mind, you create an open communication in your relationships that will be welcomed and reciprocated, allowing a true connection and trust to develop in a healthy manner. There is additional responsibility that comes with saying what’s on your mind and that is being conscious of how you express your thoughts. Your words should invite receptivity even if that means agreeing to disagree, and should be done in a peaceful manner expressing your concerns and clearly pointing out why you feel the way you do and specific about what triggered the feeling whether it’s unfairness, disrespect, misrepresentation, etc. Exercising a conscious effort to communicate clearly and effectively will expand your growth in relationships of all types. You’ll witness the people you deal with in this capacity will truly appreciate your open honesty, direct approach and positive delivery in a mature conversation because most people, that care in some capacity, want to be informed about what’s going on inside of you, whether good or bad, especially if they are the ones causing you to feel hurt. Everyone would love the super-power of reading minds, but that’s not one of our senses so let’s get better with openly communicating in our relationships!