So many people,
What are they all thinking?
I wondered to myself.
Are they happy?
Are they sad?
Are they in any form of dilemma?
What are they feeling?
Do they wonder as I do
About the essence and purpose of life?
Do they wonder why there’s so much
Pain and sorrow mixed with joy and laughter?
These thoughts plagued me
As I walked down my street
Going past many people,
With different faces, wearing different expressions.
Putting my hand to the sides of my head,
I pressed down hard on my ears
I tried to block out the scream
All to no avail.
Pacing back and forth,
Focus a thing of the past
Stopping abruptly, I stood still
Trying to determine the source of the scream.
From within me I discovered!
Emotions I had ignored and tried to pretend I was immune to
Fear, anger, anguish, despair.
My default was to bottle them all up
But they had had enough of being bottled up
They wanted out all at once.
The scream had been building up
Seeking the outlet I had denied it
They had humoured me for so long
but that was about to change.
I knew there was no cheating them
But I still had my dignity to protect.
I wasn’t going to scream like a lunatic in public .
I ran to my room, grabbed a pillow,
Crawled beneath my bed and screamed.
A scream of frustration,
A scream of anger and hurt,
A scream of anguish and despair,
A scream of sweet relief.