When Friends Become Unfriendly

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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad: a simple silent war with a best friend that stemmed from an unresolved you-should-say-sorry first conflict  or a breakup from your best-bud-turned-boyfriend. But what if the reason for this friendship gone bad isn’t so bad after all?

Just call my name and I’ll be there is just one of the few phrases heartfully uttered by friends to friends. Those good times at the canteen, late night videoke sessions and after-work coffee with friends put a smile on our face when reminisced. Ever wonder how we almost automatically tell a friend of a very good news we get from work? or a very nerve-wracking incident that just took place thirty seconds ago? That’s how we are connected with friends. They are extensions of our lives no matter how different our paths may be. Now the big Q: For what reasons do friends suddenly become unfriendly? 

I, for one have friends that are no longer friendly with me. Perhaps one or two. But what bothers me is how these frienships turn sour for THE SAME REASON: a romantic relationship (MY romantic relationship!). They somehow manage to find fault with either me being with my partner or my partner himself. Since when are friends allowed to    qualify a partner for you? Oh well, I know of some friendships who sort of do.And now back to my contention… Our friendship drifted apart primarily because of the presence of a new person in my life. I have turned to my friends for advice prior to consigning to my boyfriend of course, that’s what friends do! And albeit they have efforts of antagonizing my feelings, the heart truly has a mind of its own.  Now what is there left to do when all means have been manipulated? That includes my boyfriend who tags along with me and my friends hoping for their so-called “friendly approval” which they obviously did not give and inviting my boyfriend in events my friends are attending. Not only are these attempts of my boyfriend trying to befriend my friends exhausting, they are also hopeless. Hopeless when the kind of friends that you have have narrow minds – those which stupidly stand by their end to prove themselves right. If you think you’ve done enough to save the friendship, then it is about time that you let that friendship go and die a tragic unjustified death.

Think: Friends are suppose to be your support system and not the competitors of the love of your life. If they are indeed true friends like how they say they are, then they should be one of the people in the front line who would stand by you no matter what decisions you make (unless of course if it means harm to you), especially if it’s your happiness that’s at stake. Those that find it hard to be happy for you are actually not happy at all and they see your partner as a threat to your friendship. True enough that while some friendships are made to withstand the test of time, some sadly are meant to wither and fade. So learn to let these people go and grow, after all, in the long run, a happy life needs friends who willingly choose to support, love and protect you.

In the end, people who remain by your side are the ones who are meant to be with you all along. So don’t hang on to a friendship which was born to die rather keep and nourish that which was meant to last. And for whatever reasons these people are placed in our lives? That is yet to be unraveled by time.


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