Nicknaming your pets can be lots of fun. Sure, dogs will answer to almost anything said in an upbeat sing-song voice, and cats will not respond to anything ever, but it’s the pet caregivers that get the most out of giving our pets crazy nicknames. Try some of these on your pets, and your significant other will think you are hilarious and zany!
Of course, most domestic animals already have names that are quaint, clever, or nicknamish. We do know one Rottweiler named George, and he has a Chow friend who answers to Frank, but most pet nomenclature already sounds like nicknames.
I’m not talking about things you shout at them when they are barking too much or jumping up on the kitchen counter. “Stupid” and “Poophead” do not count as legitimate nicknames, they are merely exclamations of anger yelled in the moment. No, I’m referring to clever monikers, such as calling the uncastrated Basset Hound “Balls” or “Snowplow” as he plods around the yard all low-slung and slinky, instead of his given name “Riley.”
At our house, we prefer Irish or Scottish nicknames for our cats and dogs. When the tabby is shedding, he is referred to as Fluffy McScruffy. When the Great Dane has an achooing fit, we call her Sneezy McFleezy. When the dogs shiver the water off their bodies after a swim they’re known as Mr. and Ms. Shaky McFlakey. If any of the pets try to climb under the covers on a cold night, they are immediately lauded as Huggles McSnuggles, and the extra body warmth is greatly appreciated. However, when we are awakened in the middle of the night due to heavy breathing, that same same pet is derided as being The Snore Whore.
Sometimes they get vaguely militaristic nicknames. Sergeant Scratch N. Sniff is our hound mutt of course, because he incessantly scratches himself and sniffs everything within reach. And the Great Dane is called DI Dribbles anytime she departs the water bowl, those massive jowls drooping and dropping slime everywhere. Occassionally an animal is referred to in medieval fashion, as Sir Snorts-a-Lot, after a bout of upper respiratory discomfort.
The only pet at our house that doesn’t get a nickname is Stray Cat. Not much more to say about that. He simply showed up several years ago, was the first animal to learn how to use the dog door after it was installed, still insists on bringing prey into the house, and he will forever be known only as Stray Cat because that is who he is.