I started doing Internet dating when I was over 60 and single. Learning to write an effective profile was the most difficult part of the whole dating process. I also had to kiss a few proverbial frogs before I found a prince in my on-line journey.
My first coffee date was with a very negative, sour-faced man. What a disaster! His first comment was “Oh. I see you are exactly on time. I don’t like late people.”
Shortly after sitting down with him, (I bought my own coffee, by the way) he remarked, “Most women have told me they can tell in 10 minutes whether this is going to go any further.”
Gulp! I already knew it wouldn’t go any further. I was ready to run, but since this was totally new and a learning experience for me, I managed to stick it out for ½ an hour. Then I ran!
My second date was with a more pleasant fellow, but didn’t go much better. It turned out he was a bit of a drifter. I ended up buying my own lunch and offered to buy his but he turned me down, thank goodness!
Things have improved immensely since those first couple of experiences and I have met some very nice people on-line. My profile is much different than it used to be too.I know a number of couples who have been successful in their search for romance and are now together.
So, where do you start when you want to write a profile?
1. Know yourself.
Many people don’t take the time to figure out who they are and what they like. What are your interests and hobbies? What are your values? If a guy starts swearing in public is it going to embarrass you or will you just laugh about it? The woman you are checking out has kids and grandkids that she sees all the time and you don’t. Does that matter? He is looking for a wife and you are looking for a date to the movies. Will it work?
2. Know the type of person you are looking for.
Know the type of person you want first before you post your own profile. You can do this by checking out some of the free sites. Set up a very short profile to allow you to go on-line, and which you can delete after you have most of the information you want. That way you can read profiles and find out what has been written that really impresses you or excites you, and what turns you off.
3. Write your personal “turn-off” list.
What turns you off about a potential date or mate? What are your non-negotiables? Can you stand smokers or heavy drinkers? You can’t change a person’s habits…… so know what you don’t want before you start the profile process.
4. If you are a woman, upload an up-to-date picture.
Probably the biggest complaint I hear from guys is “She was 10 years older or 50 lbs. heavier than her picture.” Get real. If he is attracted to your picture and then you aren’t that picture, he’s lost any possible chance for trust in the relationship. Women like to look at the guys’ pictures too but women aren’t always as visual as guys so they will read beyond the picture.
5. Make the first few words in your profile count.
Let potential dates or mates know what you like doing and what is important to you. If you are a very active person, you want people to know that so you find someone with like interests looking at your profile. If you prefer a quiet, sedentary life, talk about that. It’s not that you have the same interests. He might like playing old-timers hockey but you prefer playing golf. Having interests is the main thing and having a life beyond relationship is good.
6. Stay safe.
There are a lot of nice people on Internet dating sites but there are weird ones too. Send emails back and forth for the initial talking. You should have a pretty good idea of what they are like and whether you want to meet them in person. Don’t give out any personal information other than your first name and possibly a cell phone # until you have seen each other a few times. Take your own vehicles to meet each other, for the first 3 or 4 outings anyway, until you have some history of each other.
7. Your profile is a work in progress.
Once you are ready to put your profile out there for everyone to see, don’t be afraid to make changes to it or change the picture occasionally. It will often bring you to the top of the list again. Also, as you get used to Internet dating, you will find you may think differently about who you are on line.
Internet dating is just another way of meeting new people, no matter if you are over 60. The nicest thing about it is there are so many people to choose from when you are on-line, so get out there and have fun!