An indian spiritual master once said the child until the age of six ought to be regarded as a king, between 7 and 14 years he should be considered a prince, and from 14 on the child must be a friend.
This statement does not mean your child shall become your master, whom eventually you won’t be able to handle, it does not mean the child must be allowed anything and taught nothing, because you shouldn’t teach a king, right ?
This concept outlines the fact that a parent would do a great job if he’d let the child develop naturally, without implementing in his mind preconceptions and mindsets. The parent must be more of a guide, show the child what the world is about, teach about phisical dangers, experiences, facts of life.The child should make up his own beliefs, his own concepts, dreams and desires.
Don’t force the child to become something you want. If the child wants to become a rockstar, and that will bring up his happiness don’t
force the child to become a doctor. You can point out the advantages and disadvantages of things, but don’t influence the choices the child makes.
A parent must be protective and supportive not restraining the child.
In our era the children are assaulted with information and knowledge, from which of almost 90% they don’t need because it puts into shadow more important things like exploring by his own, getting in touch with the skills and natural born perceptions.
The human in born with so many abilities that we lose along the way because the parents, teachers, society molds us since we are born in whatever they think we should become.
The parent must listen to the child, try to understand the child and let her discover by her own means, the child must feel respected in order for her intelligence to flourish.
All spiritual teacher, holistic methods, meditations acclaim that if you want to phisically and spiritualy and mentally healthy a first step is to quiet the mind. Just read Eckart Tolle’s books to get a full image of this.
The mind is always wandering, it is never in the present. I was thinking the other day, while smoking a cigarette, after putting my baby to sleep, that when I’m with him I just think about
my job tasks, about having some time to relax, what toys should I buy him to entertain and help him develop and so on, and when I’m off, like I was then, smoking and having a break I could only think of him, how sweet he is, how quick he evolves and then I figured out that I’m actually never with him, only for brief moments of clarity.When I’m with him I think of something else and when I’m doing something else I think of him. So I decided to just stop thinking and just be in the moment, whichever it is.
We, as parents should look up to the child as she can teach us important lessons.
All the crying of the baby, added to a numberless nights and days full of sleep deprivation,diapers changing, walking around for hours with the baby in your arms, and so on are not to make us as parents highly tired but to quiet to mind so our spirit through the body can fully enjoy the presence of the sweet baby who needs us so much.