Distant Father-Daughter Relationship

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I always felt that even though my daughter has talked to me few too many times and only seen me two times in her life, I still feel that the love embedded from father to daughter is deep enough to mend all situations as long as a proper open communication is sought. I have always wanted to a have constant relationship with my seventeen-year-old daughter, at the time I wrote this note to myself, but it hasn’t happened. I am in the southwest and she is out west so therefore seeing her regularly has been difficult. Plus, I have not spoken to her in 11 years as per request or should I say orders from her mother. One day out of the blue, after a clear vision of a beautiful relationship with my daughter, plus the anxious feeling of urgency to establish a relationship with her for so many years, I buried all my personal issues, and animosities from the past and called her mother and apologized for everything I had ever done that she felt I was wrong, even things I knew were not even my fault, just to try to get her to have a change of heart to allow me to talk to my daughter, since she is the reason I haven’t been able to communicate with her for the so many long years. I had an opportunity to let her know the difficulties of how the misrepresentation of the child support had affected my life and that I could not even get employed in the field of my education because of bad credit due to child support reporting incorrectly, and that the only reason I could not stay consistent with my support payments was because of the fact of being under employed and barely able to make it at times, while having to work labor jobs for pennies compared to my education level, not to mention always extra long hours, let alone supporting and taking care of my family of a wife, seven boys and two girls, by the same woman and in the same home with me. She said “she never meant to cause me any hardship or harm me in any way”, which I don’t believe, with no personal hardship feelings attached. She also said she has always wanted me to have a relationship with my daughter but she needed me to be consistent, according to her terms, that I could not comply to. After realizing I would not play puppet she figured it was best for me to be kept away. She says” she was protecting her”, even though my daughter would ask about me regularly. All I could think and say was “WOW”! I have met many types of people in my life, but I can surely say that this woman is one of the more different ones. Interestingly enough, all the years prior when I would try to contact my daughter and her mother was always bitter towards me and had very negative things to say like “when I pay all my back due child support (support that dated back to 3 years prior to me even knowing I even had a daughter, of no fault of mine), I can see her, and also telling my wife that I was only a sperm donor. If that is the case, then I need my check. 🙂 While speaking with her I told her I figured she had told my daughter a bunch of nonsense about me, but she claimed that she has never said anything negative about me to her, again I beg to differ, just because of the type of person she has been the entire time I’ve known her. Not to say people can’t change, but I have learned from experience that some things are deep rooted in some people and will never be changed. Before getting off the phone with her I asked her what would it hurt for me to talk to my daughter, besides she will be eighteen in less than a year, her response was she would talk to her and see how she felt about that and would contact me back either way. Well a week and a couple of days after I reached out to her the first time; I called 4 or 5 times and sent messages via text and email, but got no response. My first thought is that, the day has come that she has got to fess up and tell my daughter the whole truth about me. My second thought is, if she has told my daughter a lot of lies, then she might not be ready and or even willing to face demons at this time in her life, I don’t know. When I finally heard back from her, 3 to 4 weeks later, she said she asked my daughter if she would like to speak to me, and they both agreed, sheshould not speak to me until after she graduated from high school because my daughter was involved in a lot of senior school activities and did not want to alter her direction. Once again, all I could say was, “WOW”! Once before she said she would allow her to speak to me when she turned eighteen if she wanted. Well I waited until my daughters eighteenth birthday and found her on Facebook and sent her a pretty clear message as to my position and that I truly do love her and asked her to find it in heart to at least let me talk to her so she could base her own opinion of me, but she did not respond. I do understand that in life we attract all situations we are faced with, even when you have no idea that is what you’re doing. All I know to do at this point is to make sure as I live, I do all in my power to attract good karma and clear understanding. I do wish for my daughter to know me for who I truly am and not from others biased, self-centered opinions. I know I can’t force her to want to know me but I do feel if she did, she would see that I am real and true and more loyal then portrayed. I know the time is Now for parents and children to have strong relationships and open communication lines because life is extremely different than most have ever seen in a lifetime. If you have a situation that has a child or children or another person in general involved, get it straight while you have life in you, don’t regret something before it is to late. Do everything in you power to fix whatever ills that might be in any relationship you have, so that the universe (GOD’s Laws) can deal with you fairly. Everybody faces crossroads, so know what to do and which way to turn, if any.

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