You Left-Poem

You Left

I was young when first you left

 But an infant in height

You went your own way

To peruse your own life

Then you left me at fifteen

Then twenty again

Then thirty, then forty,

Now fifties begin

You just up and left

Once more, in the night

You hung up the phone

You always know right

Dropped your keys in the box

With your unwritten notes

You left me for him…

My sweet loving wife

Even as children

Running fast the back streets

You weren’t really there

Only I and two feet

Ever running beside you

Just me and the air

You but an image

Delusional fare

A vision in mist

But a shadow, a wish

But a hope that you’d care

But a hope that I missed

So often, I saw you

When you came to mind

I even believed

Yes, I  forgot I was blind

So you did what you had to

What you felt that you must

You did nothing for me

Not for them, or for us

You lived for yourself

While I, grew to trust

You helped when I asked you

But only did then

Out of duty and order

Not love for a friend

When I really needed

Well you just hadn’t time

Hell no…if a bit weepy

Or tear eyed you’d find

It was all about you

Your wants and your needs

Not about loving

Nor planting love’s seeds

When always you took me

Wherever you went

On the back of your bike

Where grandmother sent

Or your cycle so bright

In warm summers light

Clinging to shoulders

To waists or belts tight

Two steps behind you

Beside in a truck

In red sporty cars

Flying high with the ducks

You did just what you had to

What you felt that you must

Never to guide me

Give value my trust

When I needed protection

A firm shoulder to stand

Another to guide me

To help make me a man

Not one of you stepped up

Too busy…too drunk

Too tied up in nakedness

Spread out on your bed

No words about fighting

Or loving sweet girls

No lessons of living

Surviving the world

No, you did what you…“had to”

For you, that was enough

Well I’m here to tell you

Still alive as you see

That each of took

In your own little way

A piece of my heart

That’s still gone to this day

Each stoleyour own bit

In your own selfish way

Each bit is still morn

yes even today

For each bit of me found

That I managed to save

My pride and my courage

My worth and self praise

My smiles and my ease

My trust in the day

You pinched from my young breast

Then you tossed it away

You fathers and brothers

You uncles that left

You all had things better

Then I, worth a damn

You mothers and lovers

My sweet Chinese wife’s

You all left for better

Sons, men, lovers, lives

You friends from the playground

Stayed close and at ease

Till the first chilling wind

Of life’s change set you free

One thing is certain

If but one don’t you see

The things that were taken

Things most get for free

I’ll never have, nor taste, nor yet see

Like friendship and family

A woman’s pure glee

True lovers and grace

Forgiveness…loyalty

Love with no space

These…aren’t for me

These…I can’t know

Now that you have all left

Just me all alone

Sad and bereft

All you lovers and wife’s

Soft kisses at night

But sweet drugs for a daydream

Poor drunkards delight

Sweet lies for myself

For they are soon meant to leave you

To all fade away

Like fathers and mothers

And brothers, I say

I say, soon meant to leave you

Any moment, this night!

Yet wait! that’s not it

No, it’s not yet quite right

For I heard no goodbyes

The night each of you fled

I hear no so longs

No see ya’s instead

What I heard was but silence

No tears were there shed

No sorrow, no longing

No sadness in bed

For none but I noticed

None but I cared

None but I grieved

None but I cried

So the thing I’ve forgotten

Or of what I did lie

As you also would know

If seen through my eyes

To the black pit of heart

The gloom of my soul

Where dark conquers light

Tears turn to coal

How can one leave you?

If not first there at all

 (C)2011 Tim Wilkinson & Wayne Wilks

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