Is it truly possible to have a lasting relationship, one that doesn’t struggle nor try too hard to be consistently great? The answer, YES. It is not only possible but it is also relatively simple to achieve this kind of relationship, provided that rules are followed and practiced.
1. COMMUNICATE. This is the very basic foundation in which, if practiced well, guarantees a life-long-almost-always-dating-kind of relationship. You do not always have to blurt out in words that which you wish to communicate to your partner. A simple hug is a perfect way to say, “hey, everything is going to be all right”. Or a soft touch may say “I am just here”. Always find time to communicate with your partner. This gives him the assurance that he is being thought of. Communicate your feelings and speak your mind, it doesn’t have to mean lots of drama or emotional outbursts. If done correctly, this will improve your relationship.
2. AVOID CRITICISM. Well, though it becomes helpful in a way that it makes you see your flaws and what aspects you need to improve on, more often than not, it becomes….destructive. You may have the good motives for bringing up the criticism yet you end up more annoying than helpful. If you want your relationship to be healthy you need to stop being too critical on your partner. Share your thoughts by highlighting your partner’s strength instead of magnifying his flaws and weakness.
3. MAKE TIME. Indeed the best gift you can give your partner is your TIME. As much as you would want your partner to understand the nature of your work, how most of your time is required, you need to realize that in order to achieve a long lasting reationship, time is the number one investment. Make time for your partner. A 30-minute let’s-grab-a-quick-lunch will do, or a 10-minute phone call after your 3-hour meeting would be sweet. Do not miss special occasions: your partner’s birthday, a valentine date, or your 8th ‘monthsary’, these are the best moments for you to make quality time with your partner.
4. APPRECIATE. This is the most neglected part of the relationship. Failure to appreciate the efforts of your partner is synonymous to emotional abandonement. How would you feel if your partner runs off to bed after eating the dinner you have prepared for say…3 hours? A simple “thank you”, a tight embrace or a smooch can make your appreciation more objective. Make it a point to notice and verbalize your apprecition to your partner after an obvious effort has been done. It would be melodic to hear your partner say how beautiful you are after a new haircut, wouldn’t it?
5. DO SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS. Cuddle. Play. Snuggle. Laugh togeher at silly jokes. These little nothings strengthen your bond as a couple. And when problems arise you will remember how you onced played and fooled around making the problems easier to bear.
6. TOUCH AND KISS. Your partner is the only person you can get intimate with, so use that privilege! Show your love physically to your partner. Physical intimacy has been added to Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs next to Physiologic needs, and as the word strongly suggests, it is a NEED. So touch, kiss, be intimate with each other, make every second sizzle and enjoy every minute of it.
7. GIVE PERSONAL SPACE. As much as you would want to contain your partner in our your “bubble”, socialization is one need that your partner has to achieve. And that means being with his circle, his family, his basketball games and Naruto series. Give him that time. Give him time to miss you. Give him time to long for you. This is healthy for both of you because you are given a breather from each other which allows you to grow and discover things as an INDIVIDUAL. Remember, a relationship is not made up of two halves rather, it is made up of two wholes.
8. DREAM TOGETHER. Talk about your dreams, your goals. Write them down and plan together. Take actions in achieving these dreams. Create a time frame where both of you are comfortable to work on and be realistic in doing so. Always involve your partner in planning for your future. It is always healthy to address your plans as a couple. “WE will buy OUR house next year” sounds better than “I will buy MY house next year”, which is more selfish and may actually send a signal to your partner that he is not part of your plans.
9. PRAY. —> the most effective way to keep your relationship going smoothly even on the rocks! God has put you two together FOR A REASON. And whatever reason that it, surely He will perfect it in HIS time. So until then, keep praying and trust God that He is in control above all and that He only wants the best for both of you.