Wednesday, December 13

Woman's Guide to Men

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  1. Don’t not ask the question all men hate. “What are you thinking about?” The answer 95% of the time is sports, beer, sleep, and/or sex.

  2. Sports Center may come on several times a day, with the exact same things being said, but its new to us every time. Sport center(men) = lifetime (women). Plus this is a great time for you to talk with your sister on the phone in a different room, pay the bills, or better still make our dinner.

  3. Unlike you, we do want to dress exactly as all our guy friends. That is why all our clothes shopping can be done at Walmart and gap.

  4. Just for general knowledge. Butthead was is and always will be the smart one.

  5. Socks and ties are not gifts. Tools, beer, and now speakers for the surround sound are true gifts.

  6. Things that should be left to men. Figuring out where we are, watching anything on ESPN and TBS, smoking cigars, picking out the beer, and playing cards.

  7. Things you should help with: yard work, cleaning the house(everything but the garage), washing the dishes, and grocery shopping.

  8. We know nothing handbags, so stop asking.

  9. Silence is not to be filled with questions about “us” and “our relationship”. For god gave men silence, that is the closest thing to heaven he can gave to men, when women are around besides sex.

  10. One day when you ask “does this make me look fat”, you will get the truth. p.s. if your 450+ pounds you make everything look fat. So stop asking the question.

  11. Men can water plants, but they die anyways. Science has not been able to explain why.

  12. Remember that compromise means middle ground, not your right and it has to be your way.

  13. It’s in neither of our best interest to take a couples quiz.

  14. Dinner is a good birthday present, but tickets to the sports game is 10 times better.

  15. Unless you are willing to follows the careers of Cal Ripken, Mats Sundin, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Don’t except us to know who Hilary Clinton and them other famous women are. !!!!!This includes your mother!!!!!

  16. If you have to take us into stores like Victoria Secret don’t leave us alone. We get way to many dirty looks from old and fat ladies that makes us very uncomfortable.

  17. Sex on the weeknight is welcomed, but the three hours of cuddling and conversation after words is not.

  18. The answer to your question is always NO, you can’t have the remote that why there are multiply TVs go to a different room to watch your lifetime


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