Monday, December 18

Don't Give up Hope…

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Valentine’s Day approaches and we can’t help but evaluate our own love status. If you happen to be in a loving couple, that’s great! But for the majority of single people out there Valentine’s Day is simply 24 hours of hell where they wonder if they’ll ever find the right one. 

 My advice to you suffering singles is this…’Do not lose hope! You never know where that perfect partner is!’ I say this simply out of experience. Here’s my little story:

 I arrived at university in Scotland as a 19 year old Irishman. Back home I had left my girlfriend of almost three years. We were happy, appeared to be in love and we anticipated a hard few years of separation during the terms. University got off to a fantastic start. I met way too many people to remember, studied a lot of things I would never remember and managed to maintain a great relationship with my girlfriend. She visited twice before the Christmas break and we were coping much better than we thought. 

But, and this might be a bit of a shock, I had realised over the past year or so that I wasn’t totally straight. Don’t get me wrong I was certain I was in love with my girlfriend, but I was aware that I was attracted to men too. As Christmas break came to an end, I conceded to the fact that my girlfriend and I needed to come to an end too. What I thought was real love was probably just my willingness to settle down. I like routine and I liked being in a relationship, but stringing a girl along like that was unfair, so I broke her heart. 

 The next few months were very difficult. I missed home and I struggled with my figuring my sexuality out. I experimented with guys and I felt horrible. I am not the type of person to hook up with someone in a club and hope to get a relationship out of it nor am I the type to approach someone in a bar to start a chat. I’m a little too shy for that. So, the prospect of finding my perfect other-half anytime soon made me laugh. 

Little did I know though that my absolute best friend and side-kick since arriving at university also had a secret. I had already told him that I might be gay and it made no difference to him whatsoever. He made some inappropriate joke which just put me at ease. Nothing can help a tense situation more than a cheeky joke. 

The next week though, he was celebrating the end of his exams and he texted me to say that he was gay too. I immediately thought he was poking fun at me and I asked him if her were serious, since he had been drinking. As it turns out, he did indeed like men. 

Fast-forward three months and we’ve moved into a student flat together and we have two week before our other flatmate arrives. One evening of drinking leads to some flirting and then we’re kissing. Both of us thought this was just a one-off thing where we just gave it a go! Apparently not….we have just had our 17 month anniversary and I can honestly say I have never felt like this about anyone. He makes me ridiculously happy and I would do anything for him. He says he feels the same and we just feel right. 

So, moral of the story? Don’t despair that you’re single and don’t ever write yourself off! My straight best friend turned out to be the love of my life and we’re head over heels about each other. If I can find that sort of love in such a crazy turn of events, you can find yours… Keep your head up, keep smiling and you’ll get there. 

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