MY GREEN NOTEBOOK
“My favourite thing is to go where I’ve never been.”
— Diane Arbus
It took me a lot of thinking to find what is that thing that warms my heart, cheers my cloudy days, makes me smile; wakes up my fantasies makes me feel free and happy….
Is that my dazzling plant that proudly stands on my windowsill or maybe those piles of books that lost their fresh printing smell long time ago and aged together with me, but, instead of wrinkles get enormous crispiness of their pages?
Or, maybe it is my favourite backgammon game that I use to play with my friends even on cold days, sitting out on the beach and warming ourselves with greasy bacon sandwiches and warm tea from the flask.
I went through all my belongings, looking through my old diary filled with proud, sorrow and happiness, my self-made jewellery and paintings on the walls that never got any recognition in the real world.
And just when I thought that I am probably the only person in the world without having its own favourite thing, I open my bottom, secret draw and took out an old green notebook filled with black and white photos made by the famous American photograph Diane Arbus.
I’ve been admirer of her work for many years and carefully collected every article from her work and the published photographs. Although no any of them are originals, they mean a world to me.
Every photo tells its own, unique story. The journalist Nicci Talbot has described Diane’s work and among the others she wrote: “…she looked for the ordinary in the extraordinary”.
And so I am…
Every photo for me has deep story, special meaning and creates many new worlds. These are all different worlds, some which I visited before, some which I’ve never been, but where I am travelling every day.
The photo of the “child in the nightgown” takes me back in my childhood and always awakes nice memories of those happy and worriless days.
The photo of the “Couple on the Pier” reminds me on my parents as I know them from their photos from the 60s’ when they have been young and still dating. I can look in that photo for hours and thinking about my beloved father, about my mother who lives far from me, about their love, about my happy days when I was living home….
I set there with the old notebook in hands for ages. I realized, I’ve been lost in the space and have travelled thousands worlds in the last few hours.
Only the cold wind that was coming from the open window and was brutally hitting my body brought me back in the reality.
It was time to leave my own world, my safe and colourful place and go back in the daily routine.
I heard the voice of my husband coming from the other room, asking for some more beers.
I carefully put down my green notebook as it is the most precious thing on the world.
And, yes, it is most precious to me, my magical travel machine, and my most favourite thing on the world.