Thursday, December 14

My Blood Runs Bitter

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12 Oct 1995 “Fire Always”

My fire has burned

patience destroying my breath,

within this lyric

my slaying motive-

They knew a time past present

my sould would never last

a weak frame I carried

weaker than my heart;

They never could quite comprehend

the innocence of my essence

the virtue of my love

the chast in my reson;

But time is past now

and my tomb beckons;

Sweet winds lament my dazed wishes:

“O loved ones

do not feel remorse 

I cried for your love enough,

do not display anger

none have I admired,

a brief loss in your life

raindrops on your facade,

the sun tomorrow

shining”.

_____________

28 Nov 1995

We mourn for the death

and dying of loved ones.

But, is it the afterward emptiness we lament

or the suffering endured?

Are we saddened by the knowledge

we may die in the same manner?

Or are we saddened by the learning

of the meaning of death?

Though demise is a part of existence

It is our mortality grieving after their death,

It is our intellect weeping for their suffering,

And it is our soul yearning for their peace.

Death can be as unexpected,

as it is expected.

Death can be as cruel,

as it is kind.

Death we must not seek,

for He will find us.

____________

1995 end – This one is about date-rape. My first sexual experience.

My blood runs bitter,

surging through my veins;

Every drop

a confession of my pounding discontent;

In my survived moment

I probe through the passages of my time

for only there,

shall I find the design of my depression;

Scrutinizing each day

I see the pain in first penetration

The betrayal of original trust,

and instantly, the demented suspicion of family blood;

A once quainted mind child,

has been lost to rebellion

her disrupted mean of evasion.

Remaining only,

overwhelming scepticisam of any love

attempting to understand her essence.

___________

9 Jan 1996 – At last, a happy one! This one for a dear friend of mine -Lindy. We were and are still great friends.

Your underlying beauty-

(as indistinct as the fresh breeze

trailing in your shadow)

is reawakended with the dawning sun

touching the moist earth;

Your essence-

hidden behind a brave facade

(a masquerade of a joyous nature

and delicate mind)

is bursting with sensual love;

As distant as it may seem-

your virgin future

is an intense storm

flooding desert plains

and bringing life to demise.

I see it young lady-

in our daily bonding

our twin intellects.

__________

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