There is never going to be a perfect relationship or marriage.
Communication, we all learned to talk as children. But carrying on the communication as an adult, we sometimes feel insecure, about our feelings, by hearing shouting and screaming.
Meeting these needs, which are needed by each of us, but actually you need to know about them first, so that is why it is important to communicate.
Sounds and touch, harsh sounds frighten even the average person. Soft sounds or words draw us in. Being hugged or being hugged is transmitted as I am listening, please talk to me, or let’s communicate. But stomping, rough handling of words, yelling or screaming, do the reverse, with the emotions at hand, sometimes with fear and some react by crying.
So Communication, so actually how do we learn to communicate effectively?
People that are in love have the hardest time communicating, which actually brings on many problems in the relationship from the onset.
We sometime don’t get an accurate message because we choose to hear what we want instead of what is being said, this means we may be misinterpreting the message.
Sometimes if listen with anger in our hearts, anger is what we hear, not actually what is being expressed to us. Goes the saying we hear what we want to hear.
Another problem about communicating in anger is thinking something but it comes out wrong. Here goes misinterpretation, Misunderstood words, act as barriers and insulate us from other attempts at communication.
Words are power, just as they are good to hear, they can also beat us down. Using the right kind of words are more than sounds, they have pictures that are associated with them.
For an example, we don’t like to be told that we are lazy; this picture isn’t a pleasant one. But we should actually communicate, we should ask, “Why do you say that about me?” But we don’t, it will cause danger in the relationship instead of positive.
Just because we are thinking it, doesn’t mean we should say it…
So we shouldn’t include these phrases unless they are followed by a compliment….This should be your rule…whether your dating, engaged or married.
So how do you make your relationship happier? Really it is truly up to you….But thinking before you speak, eliminating phrases, that hurt, harm, or punish, a love one….and start practicing this early in your relationship.
Remove these from conversation, you must…you should…you’re obligated to treat me…so if you want to break up your relationship or marriage, these are conversations at the top of your list… If you want to work on keeping
it together remove them from your thoughts, and conversation…Avoiding them at all costs.
Remembering your two different people and we all may hear things different, but the fact is we haven’t truly learned how to listen attentively.
In the outside relationships of our life’s, there are truly few that are willing to take the time to hear us rant and rave, and such effort to focus their attention on us, as the loved one or mate, in your life.
A point to remember words have power, to hurt or heal.