The Honey-trappers of Chennai city, India
No, there is no spelling error. They are very much trappers and not tappers.
The world has changed in many respects ; people have taken to new life styles, to new ideas consistent with the IT trends and time and so on. But one thing the Indians have stuck on and remaining uninfluenced by modern thinking is, “arranged marriages” as opposed to “love marriages”. Even highly qualified and knowledgeable young damsels go in for arranged marriages and not dare find the groom on her own.
For some Westerners, the concept of arranged marriages may sound odd and bizarre as well. In this method, it is the parents who select the bridegroom for their daughter. They would look into all departments of a candidate such as – his job and its security, family background, religious beliefs, the reputation of the family in their area and the likes. As regard the potential bride, her reputation in the area, her regular habits, the type of friends she has and the quality of life she has been leading. Once satisfied, both the parents would organize a ‘bride seeing’ ceremony wherein for the first time the bride and groom would look at each other face to face (for a few seconds only) and convey their decision about the acceptability or otherwise.
On what criteria does each accept or reject the other? Only through their looks, you know.? One glance for a few seconds and your mind will tell you if she/he is okay to spend the whole life with or not? You can say, this is something analogous to ‘love at first sight’ Very much so. It is the looks that the candidates will be concerned about and not the other qualities which would have been verified and certified by the respective parents anyway.
Once the bride and groom have conveyed their acceptance, there would be jubilation all round in the group of participants and immediately negotiations would start about the actual marriage date and allied details.
Until this stage, the bride’s parents would have taken for granted that a Man seeking a Wife is medically a virile fellow and capable of producing grand children for them, absolutely medically fit without any major chronic ailments and he would stick to their daughter for life. Seldom would they think of verifying his medical history or his secret philosophies on life and so on..
All that had changed. Parents of both sides have become wiser now. Over and above the credentials of the old criteria, they would want to know if the prospective groom could get turned on by the touch of a woman and could give their daughter a satisfactory bed-life.
About the bride, is a frigid woman or a good participant in the love act, does she have any peculiar attitude to sex life and home life and so on.
Incidentally, there was recently a case when the groom turned out to be a totally impotent guy and the poor young wife deserted him in no time. If only the parents had known it, the marriage would never have taken place. Hence the precautionary measures.
In another case, on the very nuptial night, the husband wanted to have unnatural sex with his brand new wife because he happened to be a homo-sexual. The wife walked out on him within a couple of days.
Gone are the days when elders viewed a girl as a home loving bird, obedient, modest and husband-worshipping young maiden. The IT syndrome has thrown it all overboard. The pattern of life of these young women with fat pay packets too has undergone a sea change.
Daughters used to be under parental control until marriage. Not anymore. They want to live in hostels or in rented apartment in the same city all by themselves because they could afford the cost and want to enjoy a life of total freedom which is totally restricted in the parents’ home.
With the prospects of a devil-may-care life dancing before their eyes, girls take to habits like drinking and smoking (a taboo for an Indian girl even now !) go for late night wild parties and date as many men as they could to show off their social graph.
Will such free birds make good home makers? The parents of the Boy indeed would like to know about bride’s life style and philosophy..
This is where the private detective have earned a place in the Sun. They are in great demand nowadays in cities like mine. They would spy on the bride-to-be or groom to-be for a sum.
So, next time if a beautiful blonde hovers around you, an eligible bachelor, and tries to flirt with you, beware. She may be a honey-trapper hired by the girls parents trying to test your potency and sex orientation and of course your gallivanting mind set. The great woman-detective will also test your competence to arouse the future wife from low to high level.. We don’t know what her strategy would be in this regard. Perhaps she might apply the reverse formula and see if he gets primed up by her seductive looks and touch.
Whether she is barren or productive , could be known only through a medical test. Same regarding any communicable and terminal diseases.
In one case, the groom happened to be a chronic asthma patient and used to get hospitalized frequently. The young wife now had to take over that looking-after-role from Day 2. Ultimately the groom died within nine months. Is this fair on the poor young wife?
A trend is now coming that the candidates must undergo a medical test and produce a proper medical certificate before attending a ‘seeing’ ceremony. [It is my understanding that the westerns do it. If so, why not in India as well?]
Testing the groom’s character and routine is an easy matter. All a honey-trapper has to do is to follow the hero for a week and note down all the tricks practised by him including his late night errands to 5-star hotels, smoking, drinking, drug swallowing etc.
So, now you understand the meaning of honey-trappers, don’t you.? Hopefully !