Big TV Show Idea: I love being me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sat, February 28, 2009 11:32:12 AM
Talk Show Host
Dear Ms. Banks,
Well I had a conversation with Cathy (sista friend). Yesterday was my ex-best friends Tawnya birthday, on the 27th of February. I thought I lost Cathy as a best friend too. Cathy informed me how she doesn’t know how to deal with my mood swings. It hurt a little; however, I sincerely appreciate her honesty. Sometimes we had to view ourselves from friends, family, boy friend and spouse’s eyes. I keep picking up that Cathy is endeavoring to put Anthony (code name) and me together. If Anthony and I get together, I want it to be done naturally- without the hocus/pocus. So, I get pissed off! I do have a bad temper. I told her the truth that I no longer trust her a 100%. Her reply was “Wow.”
I didn’t mean to injure her heart. By night time, we were the same again, conversing, laughing. And boy! Last night was indeed funny. Alexis, Cathy, Sherry and me were cracking up. MSC-South is not home and the women there are not my family. Yet, I feel we as a group make homelessness bearable and even at times very laughable. Oh my God! One of the girls name Simone (she hates me): She has what I have. She is twenty years old. She has high fevers and burns from the inside out too! Could you imagine!!!!!!!!
So I am not weird, crazy, and a liar. Ms. Banks, I am telling the TRUTH!!!!!!!! I hope I didn’t scare the readers: I want you all to know I am not lying. Furthermore, I do lie when covering her a friend or family member; but about me no. I just will not tell you. I prefer to be silent than lie to you. So if you saying that I am still lying because it is lying by omission: Okay! Then I am a lying a_ _–ha-ha. About my spiritual gifts, my youthful biological age, and the information I have to give to District Attorney John Philpot: I am definitely not lying about that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cathy is private person so I am learning my boundaries with her and vice versa.
It’s important that we communicate. I will always support her. I feel she will always support me; and especially we are still friends. I am truly glad about that. I know she cares about me. I just been hurt by so many family members and so called friends; I am on guard. I am congratulating myself for dealing with being seven times homeless. I am congratulating myself dealing with Buffy and Ebony stealing my stuff. And, Buffy being around my bed area. Oh yeah! The word is out that it was Simone and Buffy who stole my earrings, cup, and blanket. At this point, it really doesn’t matter: I still feel violated.
I am not signing a sheet of paper. I am not giving anyone (except Cathy best friend sista) any of my hair/body products too. It feel good to say “No!” I really don’t let Buffy or anyone bother me. God sees everything: Karma is perfect justice. So, I leave that whole sad-sick situation to the Lord. Cathy says, EB is over me but I beg to differ. And even he (EB) is insignificant. He use to make me physically ill. Now, nothing, he is not even in my thoughts except when I pick up his sad-sorry attempt to put a love spell on me. I laugh it off. I have eyes for only one person and that : Anthony (code name). I don’t like any other male clients in MSC-South.
My counselor Sonia called. She is so sweet. I told her when I get my own place: I will definitely give her a call. I have to be on guard at MSC-South. I went roller blade-ing this morning from 4:25 am to 6am. I left the shelter at 3:55 am. I HAD FUN!!!!!!!! At China Basin Park, it is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pretended that I was on my own property robber blade-ing. How I wish to have my very own place!!! I didn’t want to stop. My Asthma was acting up today still I didn’t cease roller blade-ing. I roller blade them rested I roller blade then rested. I threw up phylum. Next time I will bring my pump. I have an audition to go to: I am not going to ask my case manager for a late pass. She is a great person. It’s just sometimes, you want to keep things private.
My brothers is coming to California. Cathy thinks he is coming Monday. I told her no: She does not believe me. I have the audition Monday. I want to introduce my brother to her; but I have to think of my biological parents. I know that I am being persecuted because I am spiritual gifted. My parents suffered too much already: They lives are better now in anonymity. To prove my point, my life before revealing my spiritual gifts was so much better. I love them Ms. Banks, I cherish them Ms. Banks. I would exchange my life for theirs: That’s how much I love my parents. I hope Cathy comprehends why she can’t ever meet my family. This whole experience is teaching me that I made the right decision in not reaching out to the DA about the police cases that I have information on. So, the experiences at MSC-South and society is sealing my lips until I am financially independent. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. I can’t wait to see your new season ANTM and CSI Las Vegas are my favorite shows.