Try to See it in a Better Light.

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The point that we are upset and angry isn’t the time to enforce punishments on our children. 

But actually what is the probity the punishment will fit the crime, although I have very good children, they have tested me, from time to time.

Frustrated and confused with your child, maybe they do things to get your attention.  They clearly know it is wrong, regrettably, this can be very detrimental to their development.   Most of our children have low self esteem, and it is general caused by us, or the others around them, at school etc.

As a single parent, it is not easy rearing and raising 3 happy, healthy children.  Daily life is overwhelming at times.  The jealousy between them is over the top, they fight like cats and dogs, and I never know what will be happening when I come home from work.

So, most of the time I am tired, too tired to look at the big hole in the wall in the living room, from a knock down drag out. Too tired to look at the yogurt spewed across the ceiling, and too tired to ask who did it.

Although upset, and angry, it isn’t the time to enforce punishment.  But think about the situation.  And why they actually did this is more important.

They fight why? They throw things at each other why? Did they learn this from watching their father and I fight for years, doing the same things.  We called each other names, threw things at each other, and of threw each other around.   Is this really true, are children are clearly products of the environment, learning, and doing what they see and hear. So where did I learn it from, not my parents, they never fought in front of my brother and I, but my brother and I fought, all the time, serious knock down drag outs.  That not even my mother could break up, we broke things, lots of things.

Sibling rivalry is brought on by what?  Jealousy, clearly I believed my brother was the favorite, he was also the baby, and there were only two of us.  To this day, when I am around my brother, really love him now, but the trials of growing up, are always on my mind.  And am reminded about it, reliving the moments in time, at gatherings, do you remember when kind of things.

Did I fight with my husband because I was jealous? Yes, he had so many others in his life he didn’t have time for me and the children.  Even though we were together for a very long time, he couldn’t change.  So if I would have accepted his faults and stayed married to him, would my children never fight?

Yes, they would, Sibling rivalry is in every family, all families are slightly dysfunctional, and all families are not perfect living in a perfect world.  So the next time your children fight, put a big hole in the living room wall, or throw things at each other.  Remember my words try to see it in better light.

Understanding Sibling Rivalry is the key; did you fight with your sibling?  Okay, maybe you were one of the ones from the perfect family that loved you brother or sister, did things with them.  Seriously most of the world isn’t perfect, so don’t expect your child to be as well.
 

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