When should a couple part ways?
Till some 60 years back, an young wife stuck to her husband like a leech. She was fully dependent on him remembering that she had been “given away” to her husband by her own father. By this act, the father has relinquished all rights on his daughter. She could not go back to her parents nor did the society approve of her return to the parents’ home. So, she clung to him for life, worshipping her husband as her Earthly God. Some intelligent women, who were reasonably well educated say, a graduate, knew that they could not live on their own and so the best course of action was to put up with even a bad husband, make up and live for ever.
All that’s gone. These days, maidens acquire high qualifications and become engineers drawing a fat salary. At the first tiff they have after marriage, the wife thinks in terms of leaving her husband and living on her own. More so, because she has the ability to earn and be an independent person. There ‘s nothing to compel her to reconcile and live with her estranged husband.
The marriage vow between a bride and groom, “till death do us part” seems to have lost its meaning and value and sanctity as far as India is concerned. Instead of being a life time commitment to each other, marriage has become a fun of sorts and people treat it like a discardable banana skin. Our creator God would be sad at watching this development on the Earth.
I think the villains are the IT Companies and Call centres in India. A college student who had been living on a pocket money of about Rs 500 per month finds himself/herself suddenly loaded with a bundle of crisp currency notes running to Rs.15 – 20,000 or beyond. In the olden days, youngsters used to handover the pay packet to the parents. But not so now.. They detach themselves from the family, hire their own apartment, go and squander the money in restaurants and parks and drink houses.
In these wild parties, they do mix with the opposite sex quite liberally to while away their time and melt away their job tension. A friendship developes. And one fine evening, the man proposes and the lady concerned accepts and they get married a week later. Both are working persons with heavy pay..
Their working hours don’t match; one works at night and the other during day. Even their weekly ‘day off’ is on different days. Occasionally they may see each other just for a few minutes before rushing off for work.
Marriage has made no difference in their work schedule. If anything it gets on their nerves. Further, they come under some restrictions of the society. They can’t move about freely nor mix around with the opposite sex freely. Marriage turns sour. And they want to go their own way. They approach a family court for divorce by ‘mutual consent’. The court cannot grant it until the mandatory period of one year of separate living, is over. This is a period of great freedom indeed. In course of time the Divorce materialises. The woman is free from the so called bond of marriage. She is not interested in alimony. What for? Her earning perhaps is a few times more than the alimony the court may grant.
The stamp mark “divorcee” doesn’t worry them at all. Having tasted the fruits of marriage once, which had turned bitter anyway, they don’t want to try it again.
According to a new analysis, most marriages in modern times break up between 9 months and two years including the compulsory separation of one year. Money and freedom drive them apart.
In a particular case, the break up took place just 3-4 days into the marriage. And imagine, it happened during the honey moon days. If you hear the reason you may not laugh at it but tear off your hair in complete disgust. The raw wife didn’t want any kind of physical intimacy with her man. Perhaps she hadn‘t had a counselling session from either her parents or some religious head prior to the solemnization of the marriage. She probably just glossed over the line “till death do us part” and repeated it without knowing its import. Perhaps she didn’t understand the purpose of honey mooning as well. The poor man who had taken a month’s holiday from England flew back a single person within a week of his grand marriage.
Frigid women should never opt for marriage. They deserve to die as bachelor girls.
How to arrest this trend?
Though I personally detest the concept of “live-in arrangement”, on second thoughts, I feel perhaps this is a better option than going in for divorce. In this model, though they live in the same apartment/house and possibly share everything that matters, one can leave the other any time. No regrets and no obligations. What if the woman conceives? By accident, I mean? Would she go in for an abortion or get married to formalize the live-in status. So far, no case has been reported in the newspapers about this brand.
Will a live-in experience be a disqualification for another round or if she changes her mind, for a regular marriage itself? It all depends on the Man concerned. More case studies would be needed in this regard.