Thursday, December 14

Church Bulletin Bloopers And Blunders

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As a pastor, I am amazed that we can create so many church bulletin blunders, so here is a collection of a few of the best that I could find. These are real bulletins that churches printed and were read by the congregations.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
 
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

 For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
      
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
 
A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
 
During the Offertory, We will sing “Jesus Paid it All”

Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother’s Club. All ladies wishing to become “Little Mothers” will meet with the Pastor in his study.

Thursday night–Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth With Joy.”

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A.B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”: in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages will be given by the church secretary.

The associate minister unveiled the church’s new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.”

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

The cost for attending the Prayer and Fasting conference includes meals.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.  

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 

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