Written for both, male and female, these are guidelines from a man who believes in the values of true love, rather than the way love is shown traditionally today. Do you want to find someone who you can spend the rest of your life with? Who you can be with forever? Who won’t hurt or abandon you? Then this article is for you! I will tell you 8 simple steps that, if you’re really determined, can have you the greatest girl you could ever imagine!
1. Interior > Exterior
This is the most common problems with the dating community today, which is why I decided to list it first. People spend so much time focusing on how the guy/girl looks on the outside. (Do they have good hair/eyes/muscles/smile/skin/etc.) that they don’t even get a chance to know people for what is on the inside, and what truly matters. Some of the greatest people I have ever met have not been societies definition of a model, but once you get to know someone for who that person really is, if you find out that you have a lot in common, that they care for you, and are true, then that person becomes beautiful in your eyes despite what anyone else thinks about them. It sounds corny, but it is true, because I have seen it happen personally many times. If what you really look for is love, then love can be found anywhere, in any shape or form, and looks should not be an issue.
2. Common Interests/Getting To Know The Person
This one kind of goes hand in hand with “Interior > Exterior” because a lot of people focus more on dating someone that appeals to them physically or dating someone quickly without taking the time to really see how “compatible” you would be as a couple. Common interests are one of the foundations of a great relationships because the more you have in common, the more you have to talk about, do together, and just the more overall connections you will make with the person. A person doesn’t have to be a prince charming or Snow White princess for you to have similar interests. If you don’t have similar interests there could be many problems up ahead such as not knowing what to talk about, arguing about what to do, watch, arguing about doing things that the other doesn’t like. (Such as if one person plays lots of Video Games and the other hates them.)
3. Similar Values
By common values what I mean is that in order to find true love you need to have similar goals and values. What I mean is you need to find someone who understands you, who you know will be there for you, who won’t judge you because they know the things you’ve been through. You need to find someone with the same outlook on love as you. (Ex. If you believe love lasts forever, and that you shouldnt remarry if a spouce dies but you should wait to be with them again, like I do, then you wouldn’t want to date someone who would get into another relationship the second you were gone, who doesn’t believe in forever or an afterlife, or expecially someone just looking for a “good time.”) These things are essential to finding true love!
4. Showing That You Care
So many people, guys expecially, try to act so tough that they rarely show the caring, loving, romantic side of themselves. Many girls in the last few generations have begun to adopt this attitude as well. The feeling is understandable, you don’t want to be thought of as weak. You don’t want your feelings to become a liability or something your partner could use against you. In reality, your afraid to show how much you care. I’ve learned from experience that showing my caring, loving side and fighting the fears makes a relationship grow much stronger than it was previously. I mean, if you follow all the other tips here then what do you have to fear? You have someone who you know cares for you, that understands you, and loves you, then you should show that person that you love them back. Tell them every day that you love them, hold them, tell them how you will always be there for them, tell them how they’re the world to you and without them you don’t know where you would be because they make your life feel like the greatest gift ever as long as they are in it… and the most important part… mean every word you say. Don’t say things just to be mushy and loving if you don’t really mean them as this can lead to serious problems down the road, but say exactly how you feel… don’t be afraid, and don’t leave anything out. Just be honest.
5. Working Out Your Problems
No relationship goes forever without some type of argument, issue, disagreement, etc. no matter how much you have in common or how perfect of a connection you have. The trick to this is being able to work out the problems without resorting to a break-up. So many relationships never work out today, so many people break up so quickly who seem like they could be a great match. So many people assume that if there are problems, the relationship won’t work out, but every relationship has some type of problems. Many more relationships today would last so much longer… and so many relationships could turn into love… if both people just took the time to actually talk about the things bothering them, not worrying about what the other person would think. If the other person truly loves you, they’ll understand.
6. Forced Distance
You won’t always be able to be with your boyfriend or girlfriend 24/7, 365 no matter how much you want too. Another thing many people need to learn in order to make finding true love much easier is that sometimes love has to wait. I personally have been in both long distance and in town relationships and I have to say some of the most incredible, amazing people I have ever met i’ve met through long distance sources. If you really love someone, you can wait on the physical. As I stated in my first step, love isn’t about the outside but the inside, and even if a person is far away from you, they’re heart is with you always so long as you love them. Yes it gets very hard and very tempting at times, but the key is staying strong. If you can date someone who may not be able to be physically with you, it will only make the day you finally meet so much sweeter, and increase your chances drastically of finding the one who is right for you. (You have much more distance to meet people than just people in your town.) This also applies to people who’s boyfriend or girlfriend is going into the army, out of town, or any other thing that may impact seeing each other.
7. Honesty and Trust
If you really love someone you should be able to trust them to always be honest with you, and in return always be honest with them as well. This may be very hard at times, and may not always end up with the fairytale happy ending, but it all goes back to step 5 on working out your problems. You don’t want to be with someone who will hide things from you, and your partner won’t want to be with someone who can’t be honest with them either. True love is about being able to tell the person you love everything about yourself and your life and not having to worry about them judging you (See step 8) or thinking badly about you for it. Love is about being open with the one person, even if you can’t be that open to anyone else for as long as you life. True love is like a connection of the minds. You know what your partner knows, and they know what you know.
8. Be Understanding – Don’t Judge
So many relationships involve people who are so shallow about the people who they will date. They turn you down if you don’t look right, (See Step 1) or act perfectly. Now while I agree there are values that each person lives by and expects in their partner, I also believe that no two people will ever be “perfectly” compatible with each other. There will always be some differences and some flaws and no matter how much you look around, that one fact will never change. Take the time to talk out your problems (See Step 5) and disagreements but don’t ever try to bring down the person you’re with because they don’t meet your standards. Even if the person turns out to not be right for you, be understanding, try to look at life from their shoes. If you do decide to end the relationship be gentle about it. Don’t bash them for who they are because being different from you doesn’t make them “freaky”, “weird”, or anything of the sort, it just makes them unique. This EXPECIALLY applies to a persons past or things that they have done. Love is about being there for someone for the person they are now, and as such you should never judge someone for the things they have done in their past. The past is the past, you nor your partner can change it, but if they feel bad about something they’ve done then support them and be there for them… don’t bash them for something that can never be changed. This only makes it harder to trust in a relationship, for fear of being mocked, and will cause many problems further down the road.
If you follow these simple steps then I can guarantee that you will see improvements within your love life and will have a much better chance of finding a love that is true and will last, despite all the relationships in this generation who never make it. These are the building blocks to create the foundation for a worthwhile relationship. I really hope that I have helped those who needed some advice to improve their love lives! Comment the article with your thoughts or results, I would love to hear