Wednesday, December 13

Hire Me – I Have Add

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Like so many seekers out there, I began job hunting not too long ago.  One thing I noticed right away is how many companies ask that you apply for employment online.  I went into a local business about two months ago and saw a sign posted, listing their current employment opportunities, so I asked an employee about applying.  She told me I had to do so online.  She also said they were desperate for help.  I let myself think I had a decent shot at a cool job right up until she explained that the reason they were so shorthanded is because folks can’t pass the online personality test.  Hmm.  Perhaps my ADHD wouldn’t shine through if I applied online.  After all, they were desperate, right?

I rushed home and booted up my computer. 

An adult with ADD faces additional challenges in the workplace.  Because most of us are blessed with the gift of gab, we may yap too much while we’re on the job.  Such a practice might be frowned upon if, say, one is employed at a library or a funeral home.   Our organizational skills may be lacking, and we may not be the most punctual people.  Some of us may not play too well with coworkers (I know nothing about that) and find ourselves not winning any popularity contests.  My therapist says it’s good to know these things about one’s self.  I’m not sure how she meant that.

The online application process can eat up some serious time.  I’m not ancient, but I remember being able fill out an application on paper in less than fifteen minutes.  Who knew a psychological screening was required to apply for a barista position in a local bookstore?  I must have spent twenty minutes alone taking a personality test, and sweating.  The more questions I answered, the more convinced I became that the test was designed to weed out anyone with ADD.  Do I keep my work area tidy?  Do I find people who talk a lot annoying? Uh…have they met me?  Can people tell what kind of mood I’m in just by looking at me?  Do I get impatient with people who take forever to do something?   Oh boy.

I have to wonder how many people answer those questions with even a grain of truth.  Who’s going to admit to being lazy on the job?  And who tells a prospective employer that they’re not a team player?  People who enjoy being unemployed, that’s who.  By the time I finished the twelve -step program application process, I was certain a blood sample, hair sample, copy of my driving record, and a detailed medical history would be requested.
What happened to person to person interviews?  Does anyone speak anymore?

I’ve said it before – what would we do without opposable thumbs to communicate with? 




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