Thursday, December 14

Should Your Spouse be a Working Wife?

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Should your spouse be a working wife?

If the title confuses you, here is the clarification. We use this term quite liberally in India. A “working wife” means: she also has a regular job say from 0900 to 1700 hours and would be out of the home for most part of the day.

You may have your own idea about whether your wife should ‘work’ and bring in a pay packet or not. Probably you are in agreement with the expectation many Indian young men have and who want wives with good qualifications in order to work and earn money to augment the family income.

I have a totally different view on this. Kindly listen to my arguments. Both the husband and wife would leave for work about the same time if they belong to the same organization; otherwise the departure time may be different and so will be their return time. On returning home after a terrible day’s work, the grand man and master would collect the day’s newspaper and read it from front to back page sitting cosily on an easy chair and later watch his favourite serial on the T.V . Meantime, the poor tired wife would be in the kitchen preparing the evening tea and snacks and immediately thereafter get down to cooking the dinner. Earlier she would have got up from bed at least an hour before you and have cooked the breakfast and also a pack lunch. Wouldn’t she be fatigued with all these additional work in addition to the customary 8 hours of work but yet the Man expects her to be energetic to spend three more hours catering to his needs. Is this fair? Some wives may ask the husband to give a helping hand in the kitchen and I believe many would flatly refuse murmuring, “Hell with you, cooking is not my job!”

Later in the night, the husband may like to have sex and the wife may be too exhausted to partake in it but all the same is compelled to give in. After a few weeks or months, she would become pregnant and go through all the rigours of pregnancy. When the child is about 2 months, she has to resume her ‘work’. Her home job-commitments by now would have multiplied twice if not thrice. If there is no assistance from any of her family members, she may have to employ a full time nanny to look after the baby. Such trained nannies are hard to come by and also would be a heavy drain on the home budget. The house would be in her charge for about 8 to 9 hours and she might put it to all kinds of uses; some uses on payment also; don’t be surprised if your sweet home becomes a kind of a part time brothel during day light hours. This will be a side income for the nanny. Plus, she would have free access to everything in the kitchen and the stock of provision for the month. After an year or two, the wife would appoint a house maid to run the kitchen and maintain the house/flat. These alone would eat up nearly the wife’s full income not counting the wastage and extravagance..

In course of time the children will grow up and attend school. Having spent some 5-6 hours in school, when the kids return home, they would love to see their ‘Mom’ for a warm welcome. Alas no! There would be only the housemaid to receive the hungry kids.

Children would grow up and become teenagers, capable of looking after themselves without Mom’s or Pappa’s help. They would have plenty of time on hand and would get tempted to spend more time with friends on games and other teen age antics. Their homework may remain undone too. Who is in the house to control or check their activities? Boys would love to try out various forbidden things like drug, smoking, moonlighting and so on. They could also become drug addicts as days pass by. And their report card will show a downward trend.

Girls too would experiment on many things. I know of a case of a teen age girl who became friendly with the Gas delivery boy. They used to ‘play’ together. One day, her school teacher sent a confidential note to the mother saying that Pinky was showing symptoms of pregnancy. She was just 13 then.

The parents discover one day much to their horror that their two children have gone astray and probably become vagabonds and are given to lying, cheating, trafficking, quarrelling and what not. It is at this stage that the grand man and master decides, “ the extra income be damned. You stay at home and care for the children. Is it OK my dear?”

And the well qualified wife now converts herself to the role of a home maker. She has miles to travel and catch up with the lost time. And she finds much damage has been done already and they are beyond retrieval. She might even become a nervous wreck and curse herself for being a working wife.

I hold the view that ‘home making’ is a full time job and that’s what God has designed a woman for. It’s the man’s obligation to earn and provide the funds for running a full fledged a home. The wife’s task is to administer that home, care for the husband and bring up the children within the husband’s income. If this income is insufficient it is the husband who has to sweat by doing extra work or take up a more lucrative job and there is no question of him asking the wife to earn.

An ideal home maker would work for some ten hours daily even if she has a part time maid. Yet, she would look fresh to receive her school-returning children and office-returning husband. And they would rush into her arms. By these acts, the lady would get refreshed and develop extra energy to minister to them to all in the next 2 hours.

Haven’t you denied her all these pleasurable privilege by sending her to ‘work’ in an office or a factory or wherever. Working women should not get married. They are career women and should remain so till death. If a woman should really be a WOMAN she must stay at home and be its care taker. Such a home would be a heaven on earth.

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