Sunday, December 17

Parents Shadow To Their Children. Part 1

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Family bonding and culture are integral part of family ties around the world. Some countries cultures are still exist that the whole family together in one roof. Some are in one compound. What do you think it is helpful or necessary because the culture and tradition? Yes, this issue I want to know because I saw some good and bad effects to the concern, like unable to stand-alone, no decision made for him/her, always dependent to the parents and etc.

Some family must do it the bonding because more years are not spending together but some of them yes stay in the same and one compound but its just make their expenditure its much more somewhat helpful and always together what will happen to them. I think if expenditure is an issue, we should know from whom that ideas from parents or from the children concern. If from parents in one side it is ok but in the other side, they are teaching their children to depend only from the parents.

I believe that a strong family ties and parent attention and advices are needed in order to have a strong sense of values and decisiveness. However, the parents must also put some sense of trust that their children will be able to decide on their own and just guide them and give some opinions about it when reaching the right age. It is true that there are children who become too dependent on their parents when the parents always have the decision in everything they do or want to do. Strong family ties are advantageous however should not be to the point of not trusting the children in deciding on their own…

Children still staying with their parents doesn’t mean they are dependent. Independence is a privilege that a child should develop through the help of their parents. In other words your child’s dependence or independence lies in your own hand. How you were raised by your parents and how you raise your own child will matter the most. So basically, what I’m saying is that whether you live in an extended family or nuclear family is not the judge or sole determination of your dependence or independence. However, whatever types our parents raised us bonding is always there, but you can do it also even you are away from them. This is I think best to avoid any problem. Some instances they can move only when the problem arises so there is difficult situation. Helping to each other is not a problem whether you are far or near.

Well, there are always good and bad sides of too much dependency to family and relatives and loved ones. But, it doesn’t mean that living with parents or with relatives in one compound is the root cause. It’s about individual behavior and attitude. I’ve known some people who lived with their family and relatives in a compound, and having such life makes them more eager to live alone and far from them. Because, such environment makes them feel uncomfortable as if they don’t have much freedom.

So, people who don’t have much willingness or courage living alone even if they’re old enough are not mature enough in mind and emotions.

The up bringing is one common aspect that can affect the attitude and behavior. If, the parents or siblings of that person always treat him/her without confidence, then he/she will live his/her life in miserable. Self confidence is self motivated, but, encouragement and trust from family members is one good way to boost that confidence in order to have the full confidence and courage to do things and decide alone. Confidence is acquired from people around us, and it is also people around us that can bring us down if we lack of self confidence and motivation.

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