Thursday, December 14

Uggs: The Ugliest Footwear Ever Invented?

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Even though Ugg boots are a fashion fad that should have gone the way of the dinosaur, they still remain popular.  Since the Hideous Footwear Goddess of 2005 has yet to call demanding the return of her Uggs (she must be busy rummaging strip club yard sales for Ed Hardy clothing), we can only guess that this fabulously faux pas footwear remains popular for a reason.  Here are a few possible explanations.

One theory is that people these days are just plain lazy.  Since Uggs don’t have any laces, this explains why they are popular with the college dropout crowd who goes shopping at the grocery store in pajama pants.  We now live in a society where being comfortable is more important than going out in public dressed like a bum.  We also live in a hectic and fast-paced world.  With such important daily activities like text messaging and checking Facebook status updates, who has time to tie their shoes?

Another theory explaining the continuing popularity of Uggs is that the overwhelming amount of young women in the world today are animals who embody the pack mentality, much like the Siberian Husky or the Australian dingo.  If you see a girl wearing Uggs, there’s a very good chance that she is flanked on either side by other girls wearing Uggs.  This “pack mentality” also explains why women go to the bathroom in groups.

Perhaps one explanation for the ongoing popularity of Uggs is the decline of the publishing industry.  Let’s face it, books and magazines and newspapers just aren’t selling like they used to.  This, of course, means a considerable decrease in the amount of fashion magazines that are available to the typical woman.  With fewer fashion magazines, this means that women have to look elsewhere for fashion advice (like New Jersey).

Whatever the reason, the continued popularity of Uggs is a rare achievement in the world of fashion fads and pop culture.  Unlike style fads such as the mullet, they are not confined to low-class locales, nor are they confined to a particular race of people.  You are just as likely to see an Asian girl wearing Uggs in the checkout line at Macy’s as a white girl wearing Uggs in the checkout line at Walmart.   Uggs have outlasted the popularity of Britney Spears and boy bands, and the careers of Lindsay Lohan and the cast of “The Hills”.  Not bad for a shoe that looks like it was designed by a 14th century Norwegian viking.

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