Sunday, December 17

Understanding Your Partner (For Husband Only)

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SELF-RESPECT (WOMEN’S NEEDS)

                Dr. James Dobson conducted a survey about several sources of depression in women. The hardest problem that Dr. Dobson listed is low self-esteem, in which Dr. Dobson viewed that even happily married young woman, personal inferiority and self-doubt is the most painful scars.

                Women suffer from depression because of low self-worth. In viewing the fact that woman are generally implemented with the perception that if they devotedly work in household matters they are worthless. Most woman’s worth is measured merely in terms of her financial resources her family and its benefits to the business world.

                Lack of self-respect in a mother’s up bringing affects the home in many ways. First point, mother’s lack of self-respect will tend to pass it to her children. For children will observe that she does not respect herself either and will consciously pick up tendencies toward negative self-concept of them. It will be so hopeless when a mother with low self-image to impart a healthy model. For this case it will be an empty space unless no one will compensate.

                Second point, having low self-concept affects woman’s femininity. Of one doesn’t build positive feelings about herself, most likely she won’t enjoy being a female. Usually in this condition negative perception takes over. It is also proved in Psychology that we cannot love other people, unless we truly love ourselves first; and same as with husband-wife relationship, she can never truly love her husband unless it is proportionate to what she feels toward herself.

                Third point, those negative perceptions of woman affects the sex life with her partner. If woman haven’t acquired positive feelings being a woman or doesn’t like the way she appears, she will now understand her husband’s sexual desires towards her.

                Last point, having low self-concept affects a woman’s homemaking capabilities. Especially, if the woman attended college, she begins to put down herself. Since society treats homemaking demeaning. In this situation, guilt feelings may take over her. Because she do laundry and the cleaning all day and have the house squeaky clean when her husband arrives, but still the husband will never be satisfied with her efforts. She pushes herself in doing continuous tasks to prove she has some worth.

                RESPECT – Respect is needed in one’s relationship. Woman needs respect from her husband, same as wife to her husband, for they both meet their daily responsibilities. Man gains his respect through promotions, salary increase, annual evaluation, bonuses, praises, etc.; but a homemaker or woman has no one from whom to gain those encouragements except from her husband.

                The unhappy women in the world are those women who drag through the day after weary day with no misunderstanding from their husbands of what it takes to run a home and to provide responsible children.

TIME FOR THE FAMILY

                Every man should save extra time despite of his busy schedule intended for his family. If his profession mainly requires lot of the husband’s time, it might not be too hard for the husband to devote six (6) or about seven (7) days a week in his work. – The result will be a FRUSTRATED wife and DISAPPOINTED children.

                The husband must had his priorities straight. Husband will succeed as a working man, a husband, and a father because he has kept his values in order.

HIRED HELP

                Husband must also be responsible for heavy works – washing the windows, gardening, wiping the electric fans or ceiling fans, waxing the floor, vacuuming the carpet etc.

                These household tasks would be very costly if it will be done through an agency, yet most young people prefer to spend money than manually do their household chores.

MORE COMMUNICATION

                Husband who desires his wife to take the responsibilities of motherhood and provides their children’s needs and a positive self-image must maintain the support she needs. If she encountered complicated day resolving hundreds of crises that come up hourly, then the husband should allow his partner to chitchat with him about those problem. Especially problematic issues that is so important to her. The mother also need companion to guide, to discipline, to train, to educated, to entertain and even to raise their children.

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