Tuesday, December 12

Men's Fashion: How And When to Wear a Hat

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So, when is it proper to wear a hat? Hats are almost always inappropriate to wear indoors. It doesn’t matter if it’s a baseball cap, a fedora, derby, or cowboy hat. When a man comes indoors, the hat should come off. This is especially true when entering a home or private residence. There is no greater expression of a lack of class and civility than wearing a hat in someone’s house.

The same is also true, though to a lesser extent, when it comes to restaurants. Dining is an activity where headgear is not essential. It makes no difference how fancy or expensive the restaurant may be; once you are seated, the hat must come off. Unless you are chowing down on a hot dog at Shea Stadium or munching on some vittles on the back of a horse, there is no reason to be wearing a hat while eating. I could be wrong, but I’m sure even the Pope removes his hat when he sits down to eat.

Wearing a hat at work is another affront to good taste. Unless your job position requires a hat as some part of a uniform, do not wear one. The only people who have any business wearing hats at work are firemen, police officers, cowboys, bellhops, elevator operators, construction workers, welders, fast food employees, matadors, Indian chiefs, vikings, and the Pope. If you do not see your career on the aforementioned list, then you should not be wearing a hat at work.

Now that we’ve established the fact that hats are intended to be worn outdoors, we must decide when it is appropriate to wear a hat. Wearing a hat during inclement weather is a no-brainer; after all, that’s what hats were intended for. If every day was perfectly clear and sunny, hats probably never would have been invented. Since hats are not only functional but stylish, it would hardly make much sense to relegate hats to bad weather. Therefore, in my opinion, it is perfectly acceptable to wear a hat at any time while outdoors as long as it’s not during a funeral, wedding, or the National Anthem.

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