Monday, December 18

Are You In Love With Mr. Wrong?

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Are you a woman who constantly falls for Mr. Wrong?  Do you often complain to your friends that there aren’t any good men left out there?  Do you have a habit of getting your poor heart broken by every man you meet?  Well, ladies, it just may be time to accept a cold hard fact: it’s your own darn fault.

Sorry, girls, but you’re not going to get any sympathy from me.  If you’re looking for sympathy, go tell your sob story to Oprah.  I’m here to provide the ugly non-sugarcoated truth; the kind of truth that you won’t find in Cosmo or hear from your girlfriends (who, most likely, are in the same boat as yourself).  The truth can only come from a former Mr. Wrong himself, like me. 

First, let’s take a look at your dating history.  If all the men you date turn out to be the same, there’s a good chance that there is a common thread to be found.  You are either attracted to a particular type of man, or you are meeting these men in the wrong types of places.  Unless you learn to identify your dating habits and them make a conscious effort to break those old habits, nothing will ever change for you.  Haven’t you ever heard the old saying?  If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you’ve always gotten.

Refusing to change your dating habits and then complaining about the outcome is no different than smoking cigarettes your entire life and then complaining that you have lung cancer.  If you don’t want to breathe through a hole in your neck, quit smoking.  Likewise, if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life dating Mr. Wrong, quit going to bars and nightclubs trying to find a decent guy. 

You see, there is no shortage of decent men.  The problem is that they are hard to find because they don’t frequent seedy dives and dance clubs.  Respectable men are hard to find during the day because all respectable men have jobs and are busy working, and at night a decent guy will probably prefer a less crowded and noisy environment.  If you are interested in a man with a functioning brain, skip Thirsty Thursdays at your favorite meat market that you call a bar and head for bookstore.  See that well-dressed gentleman sipping a cappuccino, happily engrossed in a fiction novel?  He’s probably going to be much closer to Mr. Right than that frat boy doing shots out of a bimbo’s navel.  Grocery stores are another great place to find Mr. Right.  If you see a man pushing a shopping cart full of groceries, he is not only most likely single, but he can probably cook as well.  And even though you probably haven’t set foot inside a church for years, there’s a good chance that Mr. Right is in attendance, while Mr. Wrong is lounging on a couch in boxers and stained t-shirt covered in Cheetoh dust watching football on Sunday.

Decent men are all around, you just have to stop being so shallow.  Decent guys may not have the rippling abs and trendy haircuts that make you lose self-control, but that’s because they don’t spend the better part of their existence trying to make themselves appealing to the opposite sex.  They’re easy to find once you learn to stop looking in the wrong places.  Ann Landers once famously said “If you want to catch a trout, don’t go fishing in a herring barrel.”  Perhaps you ought to take her advice.      

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