Tuesday, December 12

Three More of The Best Jokes Ever Told

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Two-Hour Delay

A mother was doing her chores in the kitchen when she overheard her son while playing with his new electric train in the living room.

“Ok. The train stops here. All of you sons of bitches who are getting off, this is the last stop. Get the hell outa here! And all of you sons of bitches getting on, get your asses in the train quickly. We’re moving on!”

The mother went berserk and told her son, “Hey, you, you don’t use such language in this house! Now, I want you to go to your room and stay there for two hours. You only come out to play after two hours but no foul language. Is that clear?”

Two hours later, the son comes out and resumes playing. Presently, the train stopped. “Ok, guys, when you get off, please don’t forget to check your baggages. We thank you for riding with us. Welcome friends. Please find your seats and be comfortable. Remember there is no smoking inside the train. Enjoy your trip.”

The mother smiled. Just then, the son added, “And for those of you who were pissed off by the two-hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

Five Important Women Qualities

  1. It’s important that she knows how to cook.
  2. It’s important that she has a deep sense of humor.
  3. It’s important that she can be trusted and she trusts you.
  4. It’s important that she is good in bed.
  5. It’s important that these four women do not know each other.

Five Plus Five

A teacher was teaching addition in her class. After taking help from using the fingers for counting, she asked the class to learn how to add without using the fingers.

So she tested Johnny. What’s one plus one? Johnny stood up and said, using his fingers, “Mam, two.” Ok, Johnny, the teacher said. Now, I don’t want you to use your fingers. What’s two and two?

Johnny, visibly uncomfortable, still tried to use his fingers. “Mam, four.” Ok, Johnny. Now, I want you to put your fingers at your back. Tell me, what’s four plus four?

Johnny reached for his fingers and said: “Mam, it’s eight!” Ok, now, Johnny. I want you to put your fingers inside your pockets. Tell me, what’s five plus five?

Johnny after some effort said. “Mam, eleven.”


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