Friday, December 15

Commemoration Date

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Agatha Weaver had been hearing distant voices recently and they were coming from the spare guest room which her live-in fiance Derek Nelson kept locked all day. The accent sounded French.  At first she thought she may be imagining them, but when they started getting louder and more clearer, she grew concerned.  She leaned against the door with her right ear leaning on a glass against it. 

     “Ello’ my darling.  I luv the coleur of yeur hair, they are liek waves brushing against the sea an’ yeur eyes are mesmerising liek goblets of waan.  Muah muah!” 

     “Right, I’ve had enough.”  She said to herself and knocked firmly at the door.  “Come out, you casanova, or else I’m calling the police right now.”  “You’ve got no right to break into my house and lock yourself in my guestroom!”  There was no reply.  Moments later, her fiance appeared from behind her.  He smiled and gave her a gentle kiss on her left cheek.  The glass fell and smashed on the floor as she placed her hand on her heart.

     “Hello Agatha.  I see you’re leaning on the door again.  Oh, please don’t tell me you’ve been hearing those French voices again.”  Agathe turned around and gazed him in his eyes.   

     “I told you not to sneak up from behind me like that.  It’s bad enough that we have an intruder in our guestroom.”  He looked at her with a quizzical look.

     “I knew it.  It’s the same old story.  Man suspects woman of imagining things.  But this is real life.  I swear to you, there is someone in that room.  Derek smiled and ushered her aside and then turned the handle.

     “It’s no use, it’s lock…”  Derek produced the door keys and swung it open.  He then acompanied her inside and they both began to search around the room from corner to corner. 

    “Satisfied?”  Asked Derek.

     “Absolutely not.  I heard what I heard and that’s that.”  She folded her arms, sulking.  Derek shrugged and said.  “Oh well, I’ll be on stand-by in the living room, just in case you hear anything.” 

  “Wait a minute, before you head off, Derek, I don’t mean to pry but ‘m just wondering why you lock that door all day anyway?” 

     “Oh come now, you’re not suspecting me are you?  You’re the woman I love and want to spend my entire life with.”

     “Ha.  That’s what they all say in the beginning.”  Derek looked hurt at these remarks.

     ”Oh, I didn’t mean it that way, Derek.  It’s just that…well, why the mystery?

      David paused a moment and then replied.  “Maybe, it’s Casanova come back!”  She burst out laughing.

      The next day, Derek left the flat, locking the same spare guest room.  In his absence, the same voices began to sound and this time they were even louder.

     “Yeur ears smell of dandelions and when you walk, it is like a swan, gliding through the wateur’.  “An’ the perfuum in yeur hair is like the season of Spring, ah so so fresh. Muah Muah.”     

     Agatha was not amused and decided to ring the police.  But when she did, there was no dial tone.  The wire had been cut.

     “Oh no, what do I do now?”  “Oh Derek, please come home quickly.  The moment she uttered these words, Derek appeared.

     “Guess what, Agatha?  It’s another tube strike so I’m afraid I’ll have to work on my laptop for the day.  Hey, you look petrified.  Are you alright?”

     “I know what it is now.’re trying to drive me insane so you inherit all my income.”

      “Agatha!  How could you even think of such a thing.  But hey, that’s not a bad idea!”  He gave her a tight hug and kissed her.  Without a word, he unlocked the door and held her arm to escort her inside, but she resisted.   “No, what’s the point?  We’re just going to look around and you’re going to tell me you’re on stand-by again.”  Derek signed and took a deep breath. 

“Alright; if it makes you feel any better, I’ll go in alone and dig out your Casanova.  Satisfied now?”  He went in and closed the door tightly.  Five minutes went by then ten and then a full half hour.  Just plain silence.  Agatha began to tremble.  Just then, she heard the same voices again.

     “Aaah, ah luv the breath from yeur mouth, it is laak chocolate coco an’ yeur skin is laak fresh milk from a cow’s udder.”  In a moment of courage, she closed her eyes and flung the door wide open.  She slowly opened her eyes to see Derek and in his hand was a parcel.

     “Go on, you might as well open it now; it won’t bite you, I promise, please.”  She tore it open and inside was a antiquedoll of Casanova and Derek pressed a switch on it’s back.

      “Eur nails are soft laak silk and buttery is yeur touch.”  Derek switched it off.

        “Sorry, I was meaning to give it to you as a gift because tomorrow is the commemoration date of when we first met one another.  The only problem is; the darn thing’s defective and it was the last one they had in stock!  So I really didn’t know whether to keep it or return it.  And to make matters worse, the shop shut down today;oh and I’m sorry but I had to cut the cable to make it look real.  The electrician is on his way.”

     “Oh Derek!”  Cried Agatha, getting emotional.  She gave him a tight hug and replied, in a French accent,

     “Be aasured, that aah shall tresuure it fer thu rest of maah life.  It’s beautiful.  Muah muah!”  And they kissed and made up.

The End.


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