Playing music can be hard and fun, interpretation of music is almost more important than the quality. Directions that are simply puzzling, or just make you burst out in laughter. Personally I once had a directions saying “Come out’, puzzled, the first time we played it, during rehearsal, I just shouted: “I’m gay!”.
Here are some others I’ve found on the internet;
A direction on the Bass Trombone part in Ray Farr’s arrangement of When I’m 64…
Blotto ma non troppo
Musical directions come in the works of Erik Satie:
Tres sincerement silencieux
D’une maniere tres particuliere
Ne pas se tourmenter
Dans le fond
Dans le plus profond silence
Ne pas trop manger
A stylistic direction on the clarinet part of a musical called ‘She Loves Me’:
Sly like a cat.
With titilation‘ – written on the score and solo cornet parts of the march ‘Boobs & Brass’ written especially for the all girl band of the same name.
Pines of Rome: bass instruction is fff in a blaring fashion
Gordon Langford’s Rhapsody for Trombone which includes the style direction ‘lusheroso‘ (after the Don), and the trombone solo in W Hogarth Lear’s 10-piece version of The Carnival of Venice includes the direction ‘modo di Chisolm‘.
I once played a solo arrangement of Moscow Nights which had the instruction “no Russian” at the beginning…
Came across a piece recently that began with the instruction “Quick one in a bar“. The whole band disappeared to the pub!