Tuesday, December 12

How to Deal With Falling in Love With Your Best Friend (For Guys)

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1 Observe if she has the same feelings for you. Remember, she might look at you as a brother-figure and then be shocked when you tell her how you feel about her…this could ruin everything, but it could also make things better.weigh the risks against the possibilities. Be careful about coming out too suddenly or openly. No matter what you have to say, there’s always a gentle way to say it.

2 Take your time. Don’t tell her right away- say things like,”You know, we’ve been friends for a long time,” or “What would I do without you?” These are essentially harmless, subtle little hints of affection toward her. However, don’t drop them too often, because then you will risk being too obvious.

3 Spend some time together. Have fun, even if you don´t have a humorous, brightly lively personality. Being serious or dark doesn’t necessarily mean boring.

4 Humor may help. If you both have a sense of humor, tell each other jokes you like. It serves to entertain you both (and if you’re lucky, you may get emotionally little closer before you even properly realize). If she’s depressed or sad, comfort her. If you have an inside joke, use it when it fits the situation.

5 It’s important to understand what she needs, and be there for her. If she wants a shoulder to cry on, be one. If she’s cold, lend your jacket. Over time, she’s bound to notice how great you are. You need to make sure she sees what a great boyfriend you would make, and starts thinking about the idea herself…

6 If you’re lucky and compatible, things will work out. Most relationships are made long in advance, and are just waiting to happen…

7 After some time, you may just need to tell her. It’s a lot easier for a guy than for a girl, since most girls are pretty considerate of feelings. Be patient, but don’t wait for too long. In short, drop some subtle hints and give her a chance to understand you. When you think the time is right, give it a shot. Of course, you may risk ruining and/or losing your friendship or at least changing it even if you don´t want to, but if it turns out lucky, then she will be even more considerate of you and your feelings. Tips Take your time. She’s not like any other girl, and she probably tells you every single one of her secrets. If you surprise her…she might be really embarrassed. Perhaps she just wants you to be your friend.   It’s very hard to keep your feelings inside when you’re young, so you might given her a lot of signs about that long ago. (She might even know about it and just be hiding it.) If you’re unsure about telling her, look at the situation from an outsiders perspective. Has she ever shown as though she might be interested? This doesn’t mean it has to be obvious. Has she ever asked you what you two would be like as a couple? Have you ever talked about sex? (in general or otherwise). Keep your mind open. When, if, you decide to tell her, say something about it being okay if you just want to be friends, that you can get over it if she doesn’t feel that way. Tell her you couldn’t keep it to yourself any longer but you can deal with it if she doesn’t feel the same way. If you have that kind of open friendship where you also discuss your love lives and she asks you if you have anyone on your mind lately or she asks you about a girl you previously dated or that you show interest in, then casually say “No, not really just you. I’ve been thinking about how hot you are.” and then laugh and say you’re kidding. Little jokes like that lighten the mood and can make it easier to proceed to talk about this topic. After you make some kind of joke like this, try to tell her that you have no one in mind and your open to finding anyone new.(hint hint) 😉 Appreciate your relationship. Love her, never make her regret anything, be her everything. You’ve been given the chance others would die for. If she expresses any negative emotion, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you outright. Maybe she has never thought about the two of you dating. She actually might need time to think about it. So dont just say you were kidding! Either she sees through your lie or thinks it´s a cruel joke and starts to think you as disgusting. If you are going to tell her your feelings talk to her personally, face-to-face, not in texts, or e-mail. Usually don’t tell her that in public, because she might get very embarrassed. Don’t do it drunk, either because that will always end in tears. It will also be very awkward the next morning, especially if neither of you remember.

       Read articles that give advice to girls on falling in love with your best friend, then you can see what she might be looking for. If you still, after a long period, have been unable to tell her, you may find yourselves in situations, where you speak a lot less to each other if at all. Break the ice. When the time is right and you two are alone in a good place, go and talk to her. A good Opener would be something like, ´´Am I just imagining the whole thing or are you avoiding me?´´ or ´´Hey, (insert your friend´s name here). There´s one thing that has puzzled me recently. Why don´t we talk so much as before?´´ Now watch how she responds. Does she try to keep the conversation as short as possible or does she talk more or less openly? This may very well be one of the most important factors to take care of. Surf the net for any relationship guides, especially on what attracts women. Then slowly start adapting them(don’t hurry the results). Be patient, complete turn doesn’t happen in one night or even in a month. Buy clothes you find stylish and comfortable and wear them as often as possible. Practice some chivalry. Open a door for her, introduce her to new friends and acquaintances when one goes by etc. Don´t be insecure or desperate, for this turns off any lady. Develop confidence, but be careful not to slide to arrogance, either. If you aren’t naturally fun or exciting, seek someone who is and who´s willing to help those who need it. If you know some cool badass or alpha male guy, for whom everything seems to go smoothly, in your acquaintance circle, and you are on good terms, all the better. The odds are in your favor if you just tell her your feelings. Often times, girls are likely to fall for their close guy friends. If she doesn’t end up liking you back, stay cool. Be casual and try not to let the friendship get awkward. Try to get things back to the way they were before. After you’ve been nice to her for a while… Been there for her, doing things for her, being pretty much all that you can, and she doesn’t seem very attracted to you. Drift away from her for a bit. This is going to be very hard, but it’s worth it. She’ll notice you are somewhat distant, and she’ll be all over you for it. Because she’ll want that attention you gave her. When this happens, slowly come back… Not too quickly, but don’t become too distant from the start.. Sure enough, you should have a girlfriend. Also! IF she gets a boyfriend during the time you are trying to be with her, be nice to her and there for her for the first TWO WEEKS of their relationship, after that… Let it be. During this time, you will feel sad, but don’t let it get to you, don’t let her see it! Instead! Try pickin’ up other girls, she’ll notice that, and she’ll get VERY jealous. 😉 When they break up (and they will, if the one she dated isn’t you, her best friend in the world), then she’ll come right back to you.. DO NOT! I REPEAT! DO NOT GIVE HER THAT ATTENTION SHE’S DYING FOR! Be there a little bit… Not too much until a good week or two, then go back to being her good friend… If you talk to her while she is in the relationship, or right after it’s over, you will be STUCK in the friend zone. Forever. No going back. I know this from experience, and it sucks.. We don’t talk anymore. So learn. Warnings When you decide to take action, you should know that with it comes the risk of losing everything. You risk your friendship, and it can never go back to the way it is. You might think it’s okay if you can’t have her as someone special, you’re perfectly happy going back to being best friends, but that’s not the way it’ll happen. If she says no, if she’s shocked, anything, your closeness is, for the most part, gone. This can be a very tricky situation. If you truly love her, you will know in your heart, and the truth will want to come out. Pick a good moment to tell her and it may just work out your way. Even if you do get together, this can spell utter doom for the friendship. You might get together, but what if you break up later on? Even if it’s mutual, you would be seeing your former lover in the arms of other people. How would that make you feel? Be mindful of the future. It is good to talk with her about that, too. If you tell her and she seems revoked, steer clear of rubbing your feelings in and trying to make her love you. You’ll lose a very good friend.


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