Tuesday, December 12

Stupid Bank Robber Robbs His Own Bank

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Day watch crime is different from night watch crime.  During the day, there are Bank robberies and today, one Bank robber was stupid and ended up getting the surprise of his life.

I was working down town that day when the dispatcher announced over the Police radio that a Bank robbery, in a nearby city, had happened two hours ago and that the suspect was now at a different branch of the same Bank in our area. “All units, possible Bank robbery suspect just entered the Bank.”   We surrounded the Bank and received an update from the Bank manager, “The branch in the next city was robbed,” the Bank manager explained, “They sent out a picture of the suspect to all Banks and I believe the suspect just walked in our Bank.”  Where is he now, I asked?  “He is in the safety deposit viewing area right now.”   Eight officers entered the Bank and quietly entered the safety deposit viewing area where there were several cubicles.  “He’s in that one,”pointed the manager to a lone cubicle.  

I, along with seven other Officers stepped up onto chairs and slowly looked over the patrician walls of the cubicle with our guns drawn.  There was the suspect.  He was so enthralled with counting all the money he did not even notice us.  I could see Bank receipts, stacks of money wrapped with bands and checks.  With a deep voice one of the Officers ordered, “Do…Not…Even…Breathe.”  The suspect froze.  I stepped off my chair I was standing on and took up a position right in front of the door to the cubicle.  “Slowly raise your hands,” ordered the Officer in a calm yet serious tone, “Now, stand up and walk out of the cubicle.”  The door to the cubicle slowly opened and the suspect and I were now face to face, eye to eye and my weapon pointing right at his head. “Turn around,” I commanded.  He slowly turned around and was taken into custody without incident.

Later, the suspect confessed to robbing the Bank and told us that right after he robbed it, he just went across the street to a restaurant, order lunch and sat, and watched the Police do their thing at the Bank.  “My only mistake,” admitted the suspect “was robbing my own Bank.”  “Yes, being stupid will get you caught every time,” I chuckled. 

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