Submit your prime purpose is not to make pickups, but:
– How to have less fear
Furthermore, as you can.
– You feel good
Think about what conditions you could get in the club, the two things above.
Complete the sentence: In the club, I’d feel better, and I have very little fear if I do … … … … … … … …. (X)
Where X e. Maybe you know what X is for you to go in the club with a group of positive friends who support you mentally, or maybe he means to go to it alone because you feel better at first. Maybe it means to dance, cannot dance means. Maybe it means to go to a club where there is smoke or some music. Maybe it means to dress better and have a bit cool when you go to the club. It can mean you go and stay for only two hours after that you get warm. It can mean you go into a club with a lower temperature, air-conditioning.
Think well what is, and describes in detail!
Then go a few times in the club as you thought above, the goals you feel better and minimize your fear, you propose to do PU.
It’s important to choose a decent club where you feel physically safe. If you go into the underworld which knows the club and gets hurt, what you fear will increase. Is it better not gone bad in a club, You do not like, just because your friends go there? It is very important to find a club that even to like, to suit you. A little exploration will not hurt.
If you go in the club several times in the conditions that you describe them above, you’ll get used to the ambiance.
If you fear it will shrink (as you will discover as you go in the club, nothing bad happens). If you feel well, you join the club with well-
Every time you go to the club, and you want to do something extra for drop your fear. You make a theme from the list below – not all alone again:
Making a theme club
When you go to a club, and you feel bad, maybe two reasons:
a). Have you thought about something you create negative emotions?
For example: “I do not know how to dance. Others judge me for it. Girls will despise me” (and here is a negative emotion, possibly a vision or a feeling about that body)
b). You did a pattern matching – you saw or felt something like a past situation where you felt bad.
For example: “I saw a group of guys. That creates fear because in my past when I was little, I met a group of guys who beat me and humiliated me “(again, here we see a negative emotion, a physical sensation related to the beating or humiliation)
These are just examples – probably why you do not feel good at the club are quite different, we all have some specific reasons why we feel like we feel.
Your job is that every time you feel bad. You have to realize what makes you feel bad. And then to come up with counter arguments, preferably on the spot. If you cannot place, even a negative thought and to remember the day you think of counter arguments.
It is important to spend more time than argue with you to identify the negative thought. If you identify negative thought for 30 seconds, to argue with at least 2-3 minutes. Always good to think about more than the just solution to the problem you think you have.
Identifying negative thoughts indefinitely to lead to depression. If you’re thinking: “I feel sorry for … (following a time when the mental details why you feel bad), this thing will depress you. Because it’s good to have a time limit to identify negative thoughts – for example, up to 1 minute for the club within five minutes you’re at home, etc… And then to allocate a few more times to find a solution or rebuttal – if you have five minutes thinking about what makes you feel bad, you should allocate 10-20 minutes for rebuttal.
When you think of counter arguments, try and feel positive emotion proper counter argument.
Thought negative: “Do not know how to dance, others judge me for it, girls will despise me”
Looking around I see that most people here do not know how to dance. If they are not despised, the only that I will not be despised.
Women are more concerned they feel well and are careful about how they feel they and their partners. If I start to dance and dance badly, will not notice.
Everyone here has his insecurities, his own dark thoughts, as myself. I will come at a time to act and feel good despite the insecurity.
My fears will shrink over time, if you travel a lot in the club. There are many people who had concerns at first, yet they succeeded.
I am a strong man, and I do not care that others judge me. If I hear it’s their problem. I am above such things. For me my opinion counts in the first place, should be ok in my face, if the others do not agree, it’s their job.
My impression that I would be despised not know how to dance is an assumption may be false. If dancing badly, maybe at some point a girl in my group will be offered to teach me some steps, and I will feel better.
If indeed a woman told me something bad for the way I danced, it was a coincidence, the chick which did this was a fucking bitch. I’ll try again. Perhaps this time will be ok, it’s likely that none of the chicks in the area are not a bitch.
If someone tells me something bad, I am ready for that, and I will not put you in mind or replica so hard and stinging, I’ll come over and encourage the other will be hurt.
If you see how others dance, teach dance, and I’ll bases and more or less ok at first.
I take it slowly, I started dancing at home, in a mirror, from the club into a corner one day when the world is not, etc., etc…
I felt good at the club until five minutes ago when I came up with this thought. Look like I can feel good about the club. If I feel good about the club, while many good things become possible.
I ask for help from a friend who knows how to dance. Bases and to teach me to tell me if he, at first, when he knew, was ridiculed or not.
After you bring counter, your emotional state will improve. Do not expect to be perfect, you may not get rid of negative emotions at first, but the above method can get you very far, especially if you enter custom. It has been studied scientifically and bear fruit.
If you can correct something unpsychological methods, you should do it. For example:
– If your problem is with him, and you can afford to do a course in dance clubs, do it – will give you a lot of confidence.
The thing with him is just one example – you have to apply the above method on your own negative thoughts, which are every other man.
Theme 2 do in club
If you see only your faults and mistakes, and rarely to others, or idealize the people around them, you’ll have to descend from the pedestal others, to consider them at the same level as you or even to disregard them less.
A first step is to observe that in mind, faults and mistakes of others.
You look around and see stuff like:
– Blonde chick did not know to go with it, it’s oh.
– That guy at the table over there is stupid.
– X was prevented when dancing.
– N crappy dancing.
– Chick drink spilled on it, how disgraceful!
Another good reason to observe defects is that you can fight back very sharply in case you are attacked verbally, if they make fun of you. The fact that the dove of peace and know you’re not attacking someone can give you more security.
Mark your mind especially those defects that people try to hide. For example: farmer, but the guy who is trying hard to give worship, a woman who has small breasts but wearing a shirt with a coat over big breasts, etc… With this you can attack a man very painful.
You should not attack people crazy, but it’s nice to have the gun ready.
Theme 3 home made.
If you’re accustomed to looking mentally negative happenings, negative feelings, criticisms, etc., must change it, accustoming the mind to look for positive things, we cheer.
Once you’re out in the club several times, write an essay on a topic that you choose, like:
– 10 reasons that make me feel good in the club
– 10 times when I felt good in the club
– Why I anticipate that I will feel increasingly better in the club
– My qualities that make me feel good in the club
It should not be necessarily be 10 reasons, write how many come to mind, how many, how much better argued.
Theme work if you take yourself seriously and just try to get as many and as more convincing arguments. Few days to think about how you write the essay, after you write.
A few days you think that you write has a side effect: when you find something cool to write in the direction you will need to remember that thing until the day you’ll write. And then you give your brain the instruction “This is important – remember that!” … And it will print more powerful than if you write to mind immediately.
After doing step one and all topics, and repeat step 1 until you feel like you have no benefits, you will straighten up, in small steps, to do What you want YOU to make the club, for example:
– To change one club where girls are more and better quality, but your biggest fears trigger
– Dance (if you want it in step 1 as you feel comfortable, do not you dance)
Whenever fear comes, repeat the above topics.
The idea is to do things in small steps, not suddenly we are faced with a stimulus that produces fear too much, you do not know or we can not process it.
Now you have the necessary knowledge to get rid of fear. Get out there and build step by step, the pleasure of going to the club.