How to Hinder Social Progress

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Step 1

Get Some Firepower!

– The much quoted Second Amendment to the United States Constitution states:
“A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” But forget about that “well regulated militia” part – everyone else does! I say buy as many guns as you can, in all shapes and sizes. AK-47? You-betcha! If it’s automatic, I want it. Now make this a voting issue. Act like people are infringing on your Second Amendment rights if they call you out on buying an automatic weapon that you claim is for “hunting elk.” If a candidate for political office says he/she wants tighter gun control, make sure you vote for their opponent!

Step2

Join the Republican Party

– This ain’t the sixties, baby! You have to be a Republican to be a steward of good, red-blooded, Christian, white American (pronounced uh-MUR-a-kin) values. Vote anti-gay, anti-black, pro-life, anti-Hispanic, anti-Asian, anti-Federal government, anti-welfare,
etc. This is the best way to ensure that you never give a scary minority the same rights you have!

Step3

Watch Fox News!

– … and lots of it! When you enter the “No-Spin Zone” you’ll hear the wheels of social progress come to a screeching halt. Hannity is even better! Listen to these gems of neo conservatism, and you’ll be well on your way toward blocking the broad causeway of social progress.

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