The Father She Used To Know

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She was adopted at 13 days old and was her daddy’s princess. Her mother had prayed for a daughter, but had birthed two males before the doctors made future births impossible. Renee had a happy childhood until she was 5 years old, and then a divorce took her away from her Daddy. Her mother’s new husband adopted her, so her first daddy moved out of state and Renee never saw him again. Eventually, he faded from her memory.

But the new “daddy” didn’t seem to like her as much as her first daddy did. It seemed like the older she got, the more he told her she couldn’t do anything right. She began to distrust her judgments more and more, and although her mother kept telling her how special she was, it only served to make the tension between her parents more pronounced. Daddy #2 was punitive and judgmental, and Mama always tried to step in and make things better. That caused arguments between them and made Renee feel like it was “her fault” they were arguing.

As Renee went through the different phases of life, she seemed to have the need to prove she was lovable to boys, and then to men. She did many things she would later regret, but this need to have the love and approval of a man kept getting her into more and more trouble. She spent time in a home for unwed mothers, but that pregnancy turned out to be a tubal pregnancy (ectopic: outside the womb). The doctors told her mother that Renee would never be able to have children.

Then Renee spent time in a homeless shelter, rather than go back to the home where Daddy #2 would tell her what an embarrassment she was to the family. She left for Texas where she met and then married Steve. He turned out to be a lot like Daddy #2: controlling, negative, and an alcoholic. Five years later, she divorced him.

She moved in with Joseph and before she knew what happened, she was pregnant! Immediately she knew this baby was a miracle from the God she had known and loved as a child. The prodigal daughter came running back to her Heavenly Father. She was 31 years old when she married Joseph, pregnant.

She never broke contact with the mother she knew loved her more than anything in life. She knew she could tell her Mama anything and wouldn’t be judged, just loved unconditionally. They had long conversations about how nice it would be for Renee to have someone who looked like her. Being adopted, she had never known anyone who looked like her. And then she gave birth to her “miracle baby”- a son who looked just like his Mama!

Then, when Renee was 34, her mother phoned her and told her she had a surprise for her. She said she knew Renee, like every other girl on earth, had never outgrown her need for a father’s loving approval. She said that while Renee knew she had a Heavenly Father, she still needed the love and acceptance of an earthly father, and now she could have it. She said she had located Daddy #1, had talked to him for hours, and he was anxious to talk to his princess. He had remarried, but had never had any other children, and he had never stopped loving Renee.

Daddy-1.jpgThen in the mail came a photo from her mother. It was taken Easter morning when Renee was only 21 months old and all dressed up for church. The man, dressed in a white suit and tie, was holding Renee and looking at her with so much love it brought Renee to profound tears. She could see, with her own eyes, the love in this man’s face. So, with some reservation, but driven by her need to know for sure , Renee called him. It has been two years, and Daddy #1 – the man who fell in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her – has been the missing piece in Renee’s identity. Yes, he adopted her, but he loved her as if she had come from his own flesh.

He has been proud and respectful of the person she has turned out to be, admires her abilities and talents, loves his grandson, and lets Renee know she is loved with both words and deeds. Never once has she felt him judging her! He was the missing piece in Renee’s life, and now she is complete.

She calls her mother every day to tell her how happy she is to finally have the love of her “original father”, and how grateful she is for her mother taking the initiative to search until she found him.

Renee is not her name, but I am her mother. I am forever grateful that God enabled me to find Daddy #1. In spite of numerous mistakes, God remained sovereign!

And what a miracle that Daddy #1 had never stopped loving his little princess.

And then there is God’s sovereignty over Renee’s womb – awesome! Oh, what a God my Heavenly Father is! Renee now has a solid relationship with the earthly father every little girl would love to have!

(c) 2009 April Lorier

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