Why did the chicken cross the road?

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DR. PHIL :     The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road  before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.  

OPRAH:     Well,  I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the  rest of the chickens.  

GEORGE  W. BUSH :     We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.  

COLIN POWELL :    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…               

               
DR    SEUSS :     Did   the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.  

ERNEST  HEMINGWAY :    To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA :    In   my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.  

JOHN  LENNON :    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. 
 
ARISTOTLE :    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.  

BILL  GATES :      I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ……… reboot.  

ALBERT  EINSTEIN :    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?  

BILL  CLINTON :     I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?  

COLONEL   SANDERS :      Did I miss one?  

DICK  CHENEY :      Where’s my gun?  

AL   SHARPTON :    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens! 
                 
KEVIN RUDD:    I am so sorry that he had to cross the road, I apologise on behalf of all Australians. 
 
BRENDAN NELSON:   I too am sorry that the chicken crossed the road but don’t expect us to pay for him to get back!

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