Dear Dad…

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      A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
      was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
      envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed

      With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
      letter with trembling hands . . .

      Dear Dad,
      It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to
      elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
      Mum and you.

      I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
      knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing’s,
      tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
      older than I am.

      But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that
      we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a
      stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
      many more children.

      Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really
      hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
      the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we

      In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,
      so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

      Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
      Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
      many grandchildren.

      Love, your son, Joshua.

      Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just
      wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
      School Report that’s on the kitchen table.

      Call when it is safe for me to come home


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